Mine

[43]

As I sat on the Hogwarts Express, the train chugging forward to bring us back to Hogwarts, I found for the first time I truly regretted my decision to return to school. This break had been difficult, but it was a necessary reality check. Following Easter and the information that came to light while at the Burrow, some intense conversations were had. They'd taken a toll on my mental state, but it was time for the truth to come out. And for my family to be able to work on healing together.

I was sat in a compartment with Ginny and Grant. Light, playful chatter surrounded me, which was nice. But my mind and heart felt like it was back in the living room of my family's home. I hadn't realized just how much I still needed my parents. Not until I was sitting between them on the couch, crying into my mother's arms as my father rubbed my back soothingly. My heart ached to be with them in a way that I hadn't felt since I was on the Hogwarts Express for the very first time when I was eleven years old.

I forced myself out of my own head, rejoining the conversation that was going on in our compartment. Genuine laughter filled the space, and it made me feel at ease, making all other thoughts that had been clouding my mind momentarily slip away.

* * *

The first thing that I noticed when I walked in the Great Hall was the blonde headed boy seated at the Slytherin table. I felt my body tense up once again as my feet led me to the open space across from him.

Draco's eyes lifted up from the table as I sat down. "Good break?" He mumbled, devoid of all emotion.

"It was..." I trailed off, shrugging slightly as my eyes fell down to the table, "fine."

"Same." Draco mumbled. We didn't say another word to one another, tension falling between us. I hated it. I really did. But I didn't know what else to say. We hadn't written during our two weeks at home. I still wasn't sure why he'd been so hostile towards me before we'd gotten off the train for our Easter break, and I wasn't sure why things felt so complicated right now.

When we entered the common room after dinner, I lingered back, waiting to see what would happen. Draco stalked up the stairs leading to the boy's dormitories without looking back at me. I felt my face pull into a scowl; my lower lip being captured between my teeth. I could follow him and question him, but I decided to let him have some space on our first night back. Maybe it would be best for the both of us. I went up to my own room, ignoring the other girls in the vicinity as I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed.

* * *

Classes resumed as if there had never been a break in the first place. I was just a few months away from being finished with my seventh year, and it was sort of mind boggling. I had spent so much time at Hogwarts, that the thought of never returning, nor walking the halls or sitting in my common room, it was both terrifying and saddening.

By the time dinner had rolled around, Draco and I still hadn't spoken. I found myself staring at him while I mindlessly attempted to eat. I wasn't seated next to him nor across from him, having arrived at the Great Hall after Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Theo, and Blaise. This left no seats close to him, so I'd taken up a spot at the end of the table, the end closest to the entrance of the Great Hall. I barely noticed Blaise's confused and concerned looks being shot in my direction.

I pushed my plate away from me, any appetite that I'd had having slipped away. All I wanted now was to be in cozy clothing nestled beneath my covers. But that wasn't what happened. When I had reached the Slytherin common room and started for the stairs that led up to my dormitory, a hand on my arm stopped me. The owner of that hand was the one and only Blaise Zabini, his eyes telling me not to fight him.