Mine

[32]

"What are we doing –" I began to weakly ask Draco, but then I realized we were in the headmaster's office.

"What happened to her?" Snape asked in his monotone voice, though I believed I had detected a hint of some sort of emotion – concern, confusion, I couldn't be sure.

"The Cruciatus curse, I believe." Draco said as he lowered me down onto what I believed was a couch. "I found her with Alecto Carrow."

"I see." Snape said slowly, peering at me with what seemed to be disappointment. He sighed as he said, "Well that's a shame."

"Sir," Draco had begun to say before Snape waved a hand up and spoke instead.

"Miss Brooks, Draco tells me you know the art of occlumency. Is this true?" He asked me.

I nodded slightly, my eyes flicking between Snape and Draco. "Y-yes." I said quietly, pushing myself into a seated position. I couldn't recall whether I'd told Draco that my father was teaching me and Grant this over the summer. "That and legilimency."

"Wonderful." Snape drawled out, giving Draco a nod. Neither of them said anything else, leaving me in the dark as to what was going on. "Bring her back to her dormitory to rest. I will see you both back here tomorrow after classes."

"Yes, sir." Draco said, his arms returning beneath me as he began to lift me.

"I can walk." I said, putting a hand to Draco's chest.

"Are you sure?" He whispered. I just shot him a look, forcing myself to my feet. While I may have felt weak, I was no longer in pain and I was determined to walk out of Snape's office with my dignity.

Once we were back in the corridor, Draco stopped me by grabbing my wrist. "Gemma, I can carry you." He said quietly, his eyes staring down at me with concern.

"I'm fine." I said slowly, once again giving him a look similar to the one I'd given him while we were in Snape's office.

"It happened again, didn't it?" Draco asked, but he didn't give me a chance to respond. "What were you doing out after hours?"

"I needed to talk to Grant." I said, turning away from him and beginning to walk in the direction of the Slytherin dorms.

"After hours?" Draco asked, quickly catching up to me. "That wasn't very smart, don't you think?"

"When else do you expect me to talk to him?" I hissed, keeping a steady pace. "I couldn't just not see him. He's my brother. He was staring at me during dinner and was obviously worried. I needed to talk to him."

"You should have found another time. You shouldn't have given her another chance to –" I cut Draco's words off by spinning on my heel to face him.

"I'm sorry, are you really going to victim blame me right now?" I said lowly. "What happened to wanting to be there for me and handling things wrong last time?"

"Gemma," Draco sighed, "I just don't want to see you getting hurt. I don't want that bitch getting the opportunity to do something to you."

"You're an only child. You wouldn't understand." I snapped as I turned my back to him and continued my path to the Slytherin common room.

"Don't do that." Draco said lowly, easily catching up to me once again. "That's not what this is about. All I'm saying is you have to be careful. Don't turn this into something else."

I didn't say anything as we continued to walk towards the portrait that would let us into Slytherin. I didn't want to feel guilty about my actions. I already had enough reasons to feel bad about being caught. I had already faced a guilty Grant tonight. I already knew how hard it was for Draco to see me the last time I'd experienced the Cruciatus curse. All I wanted was to speak with my brother. That shouldn't be a crime. I never should have had to sneak out to speak with him in the first place!

"Gemma." Draco said, reaching for me once again when we were safely inside of the Slytherin common room.

"I'm sorry if I upset you or disappointed you tonight." I said once I had turned to face him. "I'm not going to apologize for going to see my brother. I can't. He needed to know I was okay. I was already made to feel bad enough tonight with the guilt he's been carrying over me taking punishment for him. I can't take anymore guilt tonight. Tomorrow we can talk about what Snape wanted me for and whatever else you want to talk about."

"You aren't coming up with me?" Draco asked, his demeanor unbothered but his eyes giving him away. "I'm not mad that you went to see your brother. I understand that you needed to talk to him."

"No. I need to sleep alone tonight." I said, watching as Draco's emotions ran past his eyes. I wasn't trying to hurt him or punish him. I just wanted to be alone for a change and sleep without having him watch me with concern or being asked questions. I was truly exhausted, my body having been run down once again with the punishment of Alecto Carrow.

Draco looked like he wanted to say something, but he thought better and just nodded after a beat of silence. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Draco." I said quietly, leaning my head towards him as he gave me the standard kiss on the forehead. I turned towards my dorm, taking maybe three steps before I turned back, finding that he had already began to walk towards his own staircase. "I love you." I said quietly, hoping it would reach him. I'd realized during those few seconds of me walking away that I hadn't said it in a while, and after what I'd put him through over the past few days, he not only deserved to hear it, but needed to. He deserved to hear it every day, but after putting up with my shit and still wanting me in his life, I couldn't not remind him.

I watched as Draco stopped in his tracks, his shoulders falling in on his frame. He turned to look at me, saying, "I love you too, Gemma."

I rushed towards him, crashing into his chest as I pressed my lips against his. To think we hadn't even kissed in days. To think I let the best thing in my life feel so depleted and hurt. I kissed him hard, hoping to somehow transfer all of my love and appreciation in one kiss.

I pulled back, looking up at him. His eyes shone with what could be mistaken as hurt, but I knew better by now to be able to recognize it as a painful form of love. Those eyes told me he had been hurt and that he was finally once again feeling secure in love.

"I'll see you in the morning." I whispered, my arms still around his neck.

"Goodnight, Gemma." He breathed out, pressing one more kiss to my forehead.

In that moment, I didn't want to leave him and go to my own bed. But I knew I had to. I knew that I had to make sure I was okay. I may have felt fine now, but who knows how I would actually feel once I was still. And I didn't want to risk lashing out at him once again. I'd feel much better getting the chance to process my own thoughts on everything that had occurred tonight. That way, even if I found that I wasn't okay, I'd be able to recognize that and tell Draco the next morning when I had a better feel for where I was really at.

I parted ways from Draco, going up to my own dorm. I decided to take a shower, sitting beneath the hot shower head for a long time before I collected myself and forced myself to get dressed in my pajamas and get in bed. Once I was lying in bed, I found that I really did feel fine. Tonight was different than the first time Alecto Carrow had cursed me with the Cruciatus curse. This time my boyfriend had come to my rescue, whether it was intentional or completely by luck. This time I was determined to be okay both for him and for my brother. She hadn't gotten the opportunity to push me past my breaking point. And I knew that two of the most important people in my life needed me to be okay. Although my thoughts did momentarily travel to my parents and Hermione, all of whom I knew would be infuriated and very much so not okay with what had happened, they were not here. And so, I would only worry about what the people who were here needed from me.

So, I was going to be okay. Because this time the outcome was different.