Mine

[63]

It had been a week since I'd met up with Draco, and in that time I had yet to hear from Blaise. Every minute I spent alone in my bedroom was grueling. My mind taunted me. But I knew that I had no one to blame but myself, and I was coming to peace with that. It would be up to me to make things right; I just hadn't yet figured out how to do that.

A knock sounded at my door before I heard my mother calling, "Gemma?"

"Come in." I said tiredly, sitting up in my bed as my mother opened the door.

"You look awful." My mother said simply, eyeing me as she approached my bed, sitting at the edge of it. "Honey, what is going on?"

"I fucked up, mum." I admitted quietly, looking down at my hands. "I, uh, I had sex with Draco. And I didn't tell Blaise. Then last time I saw Blaise, Draco showed up and he ended up telling him."

My mother sighed heavily, moving around the bed to sit beside me. She wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into her chest. "Have you spoken to either of them?" She asked softly.

"I spoke with Draco last week...but I haven't talked to Blaise. He said he needs some time." I said, resting my head on my mother's shoulder.

"I think the best thing that you can do for yourself, and for both of those boys, is to figure out what it is that you want before you talk to either of them. If you don't know that, then you're going to continue to be in this position." My mother said.

"I know." I sighed, biting down on my lower lip.

"You already know what you want to do. Even if you haven't realized it yet." My mother said, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"I still love Draco." I whispered, closing my eyes. "What if I'm too late?"

"I have a feeling you're not too late." My mother said, chuckling quietly. "But you know there's someone you need to talk to first."

* * *

I apparated before Blaise's front door, nervously flattening down the top of my hair. I raised my fist to knock on his door, my heart seeming to beat just as loudly in my chest.

Blaise looked surprised to see me when he opened the door. "Er, come in." He mumbled, stepping aside so that I could walk through the door.

I took a seat at the table in his kitchen, watching him as he took the seat across from me. "I know you said you needed time, but I needed to talk to you." I said, to which Blaise simply nodded. "I am so sorry about what I did. And I'm just as sorry that I didn't tell you and that you found out in that way."

Silence hung over the two of us for what felt like a long moment before Blaise finally spoke up. "You still love him." He sighed. It wasn't a question, but a point he was making.

"Yes." I whispered slowly, looking down at the table.

"It's okay, Gemma." Blaise said, leaning forward over the table. He laid an arm down on the table, raising his hand for me to give him mine. Slowly I placed my hand in Blaise's, his hand folding over mine. "You don't have to be sorry for loving him."

"But I am! Or – I don't know. I just know that I do feel awful about it." I paused, taking in a deep breath. "I guess I feel awful that I started something with you and that this is how it is turning out."

"Tell me this. Being with me, was that because you wanted to be or was it to help you get over Draco?" Blaise asked.

"No!" I exclaimed quickly. "Blaise, no, that had nothing to do with me trying to get over Draco. I thought that I was over him. I thought I was ready."