Last Summer's Catastrophe

Chapter 32

Waves

"Eula," someone called from behind.

When I heard the familiar voice, it urged me to run to him. I hugged him tight and cry in his shoulder. He remained silent the whole time; waiting for me to calm myself.

"Landen..." I weakly called when I finally get tired of crying.

"Hm?"

"I'm tired."

"Then rest," he insist. "If you're tired, then rest. Tomorrow will be a better day."

I shook my head. Will rest be enough to take away this heavy and bothering feeling? Will it stop draining me? I'm physically, emotionally and mentally tired.

"Sobrang pagod na pagod na 'ko. Ang sakit sakit na. Gusto ko ng makalimot," namamaos na ang boses ko habang sinasabi 'yon.

Naramdamdaman ko ang pagbuka ng bibig niya, mukhang sasabihin pero hindi niya na itinuloy at napabuntong-hininga na lamang. Wala saming nagsalita pansamantala.

"Do you want me to take you to your unit?"

Tumango ako. Walang imik niya akong inakay palabas na ng kuwarto, sinikop niya rin ang mga gamit ko at siya na ang nagbitbit non. Dinala niya ako sa sasakyan ko at pinagbuksan sa shot gun seat.

"Wait for me here. I'll just talk to your parents."

"Okay.."

Mabilis siyang nawala sa paningin ko. Pumikit na lang ako at inihilig ang katawan sa sandalan habang hinihintay siya. I can't figure out what I really feel right now. Am I just tired? Hurt? Sad? Disappointed or shock? It's mixed emotion.

"Eula," someone called kaya napabalikwas ako ng bangon. "We're here."

Iginala ko ang tingin sa paligid. Nasa parking lot na kami ng condo ko. I looked at Landen to thank him but he was staring at me and looking worried. I arched a brow on him. I just don't like the pity in his eyes.

"Don't you think it's time to seek for professional help?" He asked, as if it was really bothering him.

"I'm not crazy."

"I clearly didn't said that," he replied. "I'm no professional so I don't want to self-diagnose you but I can see that there's something wrong with you. Hindi ako bulag."

I pursed my lips. What am I supposed to say? I know myself that there is something wrong with myself too.

"Don't you think it's time to finally heal yourself?" He asked too slow, too painful.

"I'm trying."

"Eula you're not. You're just-" I cut him off.

"Please I'm tired. Thank you sa paghatid."

Akma ko ng bubuksan ang pinto ng kotse nang bigla niya na lang buksan ang glove compartment. Sumilip doon ang mga bote ng gamot na iniinom ko sa tuwing inaatake ng anxiety. My grip on the door handle tightened.

"These meds... these meds will never help you heal, these will just help you temporary. These won't make you forget. You need professional help. Whatever you're suffering from, that is not something you could deal with just these medicines."

"I tried! But do you even know that it's a torture for me?" I wiped the tears that's coming from my eyes. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya bago muling magsalita. "I can't even bring myself remembering what happened coz it hurts. It fucking hurts. It's torturing me."