A Flame From The Past

5: I Hate You

The door handle slowly turned as I saw the tiptoeing culprit make her way inside at 5:30 in the morning. She acted as the image of perfection, even with me she hated not looking her best, even embarrassed by it. So whenever she would 'spend the night' as she called it, at her boyfriend's house she would sneak in as quiet as a mouse.

She slowly turned on the lights as she turned around and our eyes aligned as she looked over at me.

I was currently drowning myself in ice cream, tubs and tubs of ice cream as I had overthought every moment, every gesture that he had made.

"I hate you" I said to her as she set her things down. Her blonde curls, were fluffed up and had lost their shape, her shoes were held in her hands and her dress looked like she had just pulled it together.

"You can't hate me", she said and looked at me, wondering why I would say such a thing. I groaned furiously and dug my spoon back into the tub. Aching for another bite of gooey marshmallows and nuts glazed in the rich chocolate ice cream.

"It's impossible to hate me", she boasted and I set the ice cream down ready to rage and scream at her.

"After you know what you did, you'll hate yourself too", I knew she hadn't done it on purpose, but she had to have known that there was a reason why I wanted to get away from him, yet she didn't think the two were connected.

"I hooked you up with a hot quarterback, I don't hate me and neither should you, in fact you should be thanking me", she thought over her words and took a spoon from the kitchen utensils. She brought her wanting spoon over to my ice cream and dove her spoon inside as I swiped it away.

She had seen it as she had done me a favor, a favor that I had never said I needed nor wanted. There's this idea that just because I haven't had a boyfriend in a couple years I'm suddenly this damaged person who can only be fixed with someone else.

I was happy, until her efforts came into play and affected my brain and my choices. And now he was all that occupied my head.

"We didn't hook up", I told her and she took her spoon away.

"Well then you talked? Do you like him?", she marveled at the thought of matching me up with someone and taking credit for solving my broken heart.

When in reality before yesterday night I was fine, perfectly fine. I was happy and content with myself and then I was persuaded in going to that stupid dinner, which completely brought me back to the day after prom night.

"I can't like him", I whispered softly, just in grasp for me to realize just how much I knew he was bad for me. Yet every time he came around, I was completely lost in his words, his grasp I couldn't think straight.

"I don't like him", I said sternly, still sunken into my spot on the couch. She plopped into the seat next to me.

"Why not he's charming, he's handsome, he is very very successful, he's famous, and he's funny, he doesn't seem boring either", she said not weighing in the most important things. As if because he had the traits of someone's "perfect man" that I was obligated to snatch him up before someone else did.

"I promise you I don't like him, you should date him he sounds perfect for you", I sarcastically spoke, hoping she would get the hint and just leave me to focus on Luca who also wouldn't leave me alone. Luca had filled my head, not a single word was spoken from him after last night, but I couldn't put our moments away from us.

His hands, his lips were all frozen in my mind as if I could watch myself giving in to something both of our bodies wanted.

"He does seem quite perfect for me, but I'm dating Allen his friend, it would be entirely wrong of me", Ally snickered and I couldn't bother myself to address what she had just said.