A Flame From The Past

4: The Fear Pt.2

The night faded into the late hours as our conversation spurted from topic to topic only discussing the happy wonders of life.

I had learned about him as an individual, a person with a blossoming personality. He had a bigger heart than I had realized, but he knew how to assert the attention and he gained it anyways.

"I had fun with whatever this is", I said pointing to the questions that would make this night something I had dreamed about. His cocky grin flashed across his face as if he knew just how much pull he had over me.

"Now, should we just call it a date already, come on if it's one thing grams is right is about this tension that needs to be cut twice", his words were like swans gliding across water. His words had an effect over me, they all had an effect over me, I just wish it hadn't been as much as it used to be.

I knew what he wanted and I knew I wanted it too, but after seven years I couldn't go through this torture again, I couldn't let myself fall and he would walk away to someone else.

I wanted to try, I wanted to see where he wanted this to go. And if it wasn't where I had wanted it, then there was no point in putting myself through that pain again.

"I'll tell you what take me out on a proper one and maybe just maybe we can put the past away", I let the words slip from my mouth. The dreadful, uncomfortable topic was brought up just as most everyone had cleared out of the diner.

I was blush red, scorching. I begged my voice to speak words from my brain, not my heart.

His eyes spoke of sorrow and regret over past times and I immediately regretted bringing any part of that up.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't-", I began saying out of fear of this ruined friendship or whatever we were. It was in the past, the things he had said about me were in the past.

"I'm sorry about that". He apologized, his words were simple, short but nothing more could've sounded that sincere. His eyes did all the talking that needed to be done, as they aligned with mine.

"It's okay, it's in the past, I'm sorry I even brought it up", I apologized percussively and I saw the sorrow in his eyes.

"I'll take you home", he abruptly spoke and he slid out of the booth, now filled with memories of pure laughter and happiness. We walked towards the exit as I heard the back door open.

"Wait, I'll be right back", I said quickly as I rushed into the back in search of Luca's grandma.

After a hug and words of wisdom, I returned to the car with a bag of leftovers that would feed me for days. I quickly slid into the car, hoping to escape this silent atmosphere my stupid mouth had created for us.

"I've been thinking", he said, suddenly, finally cutting the cursed energy between us. That caused me to make strange noises and him to make weird statements about the speed of his or the weather.

He may have been thinking about something to do with our strained relationship and feelings, but I was thinking about the mouth-watering bag of leftovers that were sitting next to my feet. I reached down slowly and picked the bag up, as I opened and smelled the aroma of biscuits.

"Who said you could eat in my car?",he asked, staring at me out of the blue. I forgot how he valued his precious cars.

"I won't spill, I promise", I begged, swore, promised and he okayed it as long as I ate over a napkin.