A Flame From The Past

36: Begging Pt.1

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Begging... it was a constant thing for him, I begged him for multiple substantial orgasms and he begged me to move in. To essentially put my name on his lease, to have a key, an engraved key and for his mailbox to change to Carina Sorrento and Luca Manson.

"Move in with him, already", Ally begged me too, a common occurrence that was just happening around me. We were all puppy dogs for love, I assume. And we want our favorite couples to become one in the same, one in a million.

"I can't just move in with him", I tried telling her of all people. The constant checklists, the idea of perfection with the perfect timeline bumped up every year she blows out a candle and is still single on her birthday.

"Why not?" She asked, rearranging the closet, it seemed she was already moving my things, and throwing them on the bed.

"I'm not moving out right now", I said, putting my clothes back in her closet.

"I want you to take them to your own closet", she roared, something was aggravating her and here I was talking about how my loving, tender boyfriend was begging me to move in with him and I was turning it down too. I had seen that look on her face, millions of times.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, I knew the dinner with Allen's family had gone fine, just fine. Those four letter words with Ally were never good, she over exaggerated everything and fine meant absolutely horrible, I should've picked up on it earlier.

"I think Allen's going to break up with me", She said, in a breathy close to teary-eyed statement. And when Ally thought of something it wasn't just a thought, there was evidence, tension, events building up to this. That's why when I had first met her and she had announced her extreme opinions of me, I figured she was at college to be a lawyer. And I had her convinced for a while.until I saw her photos. And I fell in love, in love with them all.

"You guys were good, I thought everything was going great?" I asked, taking in the shock of her sentence, I thought Allen would be it for her, that she would by the time of next year be in some white picket fence, making children galore.

"I don't know, it's so messy, he's just been distant, and cold", she said not hesitating with her accusations.

"Do you think I'm scaring him? I was talking about Luca asking you to move in the other day? Oh god, did I make it worse?" I wasn't sure if she had made it necessarily worse, I think maybe it had applied some pressure. Normally when someone talks about someone else's relationship they're wondering about it in their own relationship, like people who attend many many weddings, they think about it so frequently that all they want is to have their own.

"Maybe you should tell him you don't want to move in just yet? Or do you?"I asked her as she sat on the bed, looking over at me with a queasy face.

"I don't know, I mean if he's not ready then why even answer that question", she said, palming her head and rubbing her temple.

This looked like the wrong time to bring up the reason I had come back home and left Ray with Luca for the day, it wasn't to talk about how Luca begged me to move in, but the messages, the people telling me off over a game I hadn't even watched. Blaming, the blame game from what felt like every football loving jackass.

I wanted her advice over it all, I felt it was easier to just avoid it, but every moment I was reminded of it as my phone opened and I was met by angry messages. My account had been made private, and I blocked every message I could get to, but they kept coming like a typhoon and it wasn't over quickly. One rush after the next, sometimes even at the same time.

"Should I ask him?" She asked, drawing me back from my own still private dilemma. I looked back at her, as she buried her head in her lap. Now was not the time to talk about my crisis, with people who had nothing better to do than blame a poor game on a woman AND THAT GAME WASN'T EVEN BAD, HE DID GREAT and WON. What more did these people want from him?