A Flame From The Past

52: Let Me Go

Sleeping peacefully now was a feat for me, nothing came easy as I stared at the ceiling, blankly. Midnight was coming at a fast pace, but the only person who would even wait till midnight came on christmas day was Ray and he was fast asleep next to me. I tossed and turned, adjusted my pillow twice, before I decided to go downstairs. No one would be up at this time, we were not kids anymore, waiting eagerly until the clock struck 12 and Christmas was finally here.

Now we were adults, Luca and I. Dealing with adult problems like deception and deceiving someone. We dealt with these things and trying to deal with them as adults, when Ray wanted to see him all the time was the most difficult thing that could manage happening;. Because over the last 24 hours he had not only proclaimed that I was the one who started our issues, but he had also escalated even further to complimenting me and even further to telling me he wanted me, and that I was star cast in his dreams every night. The next thing he would do is declare he loved me, then hated me and who knows maybe he'll suggest I move in with him, maybe even marry him.

I didn't want him dreaming about me, I didn't want him waiting. He wasn't supposed to do that. I didn't want him waiting for something that may never come. And I didn't want Ray to be given false pretenses that we could happen one day, and he would be waiting for it. I couldn't be dependent on him throughout my life.

I climbed out of bed, slung a blanket over my head to guard myself from the freezing chill that blew through the house. I turned the doorknob and shut it slowly, hoping the house wouldn't give out from the creaks this place gave out from below us. My slippers slid against the wood floors, as I held onto the bannister seeing that Luca's door was closed and my heart calmed, knowing he was probably fast asleep.

I went down to the kitchen, not knowing what I needed, but I felt like a cup of hot chocolate Mariam had made last night, and her cookies would do the trick. I just needed to sleep. I opened the fridge, grabbing the jug and the tray of cookies.

I grabbed a mug, as I heard stirring from outside. The back door closed, as I grabbed the nearest thing I could find, which was a pan. A skillet pan. And just as the towering figure advanced towards the kitchen, I swung the pan with everything in me, like my life depended on it, and it did. But as soon as the gentle now wounded face appeared before me I regretted ever coming down.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He called out, his angered voice yelling out causing me to lower the pain back in the pile it sat on earlier. He was alarmed, full on terrorized as he saw the look cross my face.

"I'm so sorry... I thought everyone was sleeping". I tried to guide him to sit down as the same smug look on his face resumed, and it seemed the pain had subsided. His door was closed, I had thought he was still fast asleep. I had thought everyone was still asleep, now I doubted it as when the pan hit his head we both let out alarming screams.
He sat on the barstool, dragging his hand over the place the pan had met him under ill circumstances. I stood there idly, I needed to do something as I went to grab him an ice pack. I wrapped it in a paper towel and handed it over to him as the smug look returned on his face, and I knew he was about to say something that would make me eagerly want to return upstairs.

"I think you've been wanting to do that for a long time". He said, sounding sure of his answer, and I chose to ignore him, before I heard the smirk that came from.

"Lets not do this today, okay". I told him, wanting to agree, but instead he let out a disgruntled groan which aired from his mouth as I looked over at him. He was angry, just as angry as someone would be who just got hit by a pan.

"Do what today, Cara Mia?" he asked, his stinge hiding against the nickname for me as he smiled. Distaste lined his voice, as I held back my comment flying through my mouth.