A Flame From The Past

7: Forever Pt. 1

"Why is your face so red?", Ally opened the door, wearing her kitten robe with an avocado mask drenched on her face. Her eyes danced towards my burning red face, which felt like spikes were being grazed across the smooth skin. I felt as if I was on fire, every time he squeezed my hand just a little more.

I was lost with touch, lost with movement. Still stuck on the words that had once captivated me, and confused me. How could he say such a thing?

Forever

It was such a promising word, it meant a future, but all I saw, we had was a past. A long and hurtful past.

The word still seemed so pained to me, he had once promised forever to me and he left the next day. In that moment, in that day of joy and magic on prom night, I believed him and I wanted that same forever promise. But now everything was different and I was happy, after being so miserable.

I found in him that one happy night a promise, something no one had given me and I used it to make myself feel better, to make him be my everything. My support system, my family, my friends, my soulmate and when he left and I heard the things he had spoke about me I was broken to pieces.

And then I closed off and I focused on the things I could control, my future, my happiness, my job. And I blossomed and I became happy and content with the people who filled my life.

But for him, it looked as if he wanted more, the way he stared at me, at the kids. I knew he wanted something that I could never give him.

My mind was spiraling wondering what he wanted from me, I couldn't hold onto that word that meant so much more than he would ever know.

Forever

Forever doesn't last, promises break. A couple of vows and late night promises mean nothing when money, other people and life's casualties take place and intervene.

How could he have said that? He nearly sprung it on me and I felt it's aftermath running through my veins.

Forever

Is that where he believed this would end for us? That suddenly after all these years we were each other's fairytales?

The idea was romantic, something Ally would marry someone for. Something Ally probably dreams of being said to her. She was that way, she believed in the fairytales, in love and marriage. And I was the very opposite, if Luca wanted those things from me, he might as well ask Ally out.

His hand was still firmly attached to mine, which I wished I could've let go, earlier. Questions would come spiting from Ally and they would never stop.

Her eyes finally wandered to the hand that was tightly holding mine, and I could tell she was holding back words.

"Oh Luca, uh come inside", she said, nervously scanning me for any expression. I was blank, except for my burning cheeks. My confidence had slipped just by a sentence he had muttered and now I was speechless in every aspect.

It clicked in Ally's mind hopefully why I was like a squashed tomato, considering who stood next to me. I stepped into the apartment, hoping Ally wouldn't pester either of us about why he was here.

My hand slipped from his, smoothly and it seemed we both realized as his sapphire gems starred deeply into mine, his stare was filled with meaning and I could tell he hadn't noticed the effect of his words on me.