A Flame From The Past

21: The Fair

"Why can't we go get more slurpees?" Both Luca and Ray asked, looking at me whimpering at my denial of any kind of sugar, as they had already had five.

"You won't be able to go to sleep, both of you", I looked at both of them as they groaned and mumbled.

"I don't plan on sleeping tonight and you shouldn't either", Luca whispered in my ear, slightly louder than he should. I looked at him knowing he was right, neither of us would be able to sleep tonight because Luca and Ray would be barfing out their stomachs in the bathroom.

"Keep it in your pants", I shoved him playfully, and he looked taken back by my remark.

"If that's what you want, but come on, is that what you really want?" His whispered words sent shivers up my spine, as his fingers grazed my hand, slowly but surely riling me up.

"Answer me", he whispered again, as my eyes darted to Ray, who was having too much fun at the park. I knew if I said what I was going to say, we would be sent back home.

"I can't", his fingers now danced against my pants going up my thigh as he waved to Ray, pulling me closer to him.

"That's not what I really want", I murmured, and I bent my head back to see his relieved smile.

Ray came over, just as Luca had kissed my cheek and had begun attacking my neck with kisses galore.

He motioned to be picked up, but instead of him asking me, he asked Luca. Their bond was something I had never seen with Ray before, he looked up to him as an idol but a friend too. It amazed me how much in just a couple of days they both acted like they had known each other for years.

The music festival was filled with candy apples, large amounts of funnel cake, all types of greasy fries, whatever way you wanted them, and many many types of meat.

Luca had insisted we should go and see the local town, that he had been to a couple of times. In the car ride here, he had come with his brother and sister for the first time, they had been his guests on his first ever round with the NFL.

I knew as soon as he saw Ray running around, losing his mind with all there was to do, he was so happy Ray could enjoy this.

Ray guided our distracted eyes over to the games, he tossed and hurled balls at glasses and bottles, they both did. All winning teddy bears and big dinosaur plushies, they paraded around the festival, with happy smiles on their faces. Ray seemed to be having the best time of his life, and I was glad Luca and I got to be here for this. But I dreaded going home, not because of the comfort being in our own little house gave me, but the horrid news I had to give and it would kill Ray's joyful smile. I knew it would only get worse over time, if I let him wonder. I just wanted to cherish this moment just a little longer.

Ray was happy being a kid, and I knew he needed to know it would only hurt him if I hid it from him, but I just didn't want to ruin this for him. He loved his mom, with his whole heart. He looked forward to seeing her every weekend. And now he may never see her again.

I just wished she would come back, she would realize she needed him, she would realize she couldn't live without him. But she hadn't, she had instead thought of what's best for him, that's what I knew she had thought about. Some people know no matter how many loved ones tell them to quit, they can't. Maybe she was tired of disappointing him, he knew each time she went away for a while it was because she had started again.

I wish she had just said bye to him before.

"I think I'm ready to go home", Ray yawned in my arms, the look of exhaustion fell on his face. He spread out in my arms, trying to hold on as he got comfortable against my arm.