A Flame From The Past

51: Winter Wonderland Pt.2

I crossed my fingers as I walked back in, getting ready to help plate Christmas Eve Dinner, with a feast beholden before us, and it was beautiful. Plating the dishes, I had never seen so much food, never felt the inviting feeling ever in my life.

We sat down, tucking our hands into each others as a prayer was recited, for the sake of Mariam. My eyes stayed open as everyone else's, except Luca's were shut, honoring Mariam's prayer. He smirked at me across the table, the irony of it all as we displayed horribly our distaste, well our lack of belief.

The dinner went by smoothly as I sat next to Layla, and Luca was sitting across from me, as Ray sat next to me. I couldn't help myself with staring, knowing everything underneath his shirt was so strikingly worth it. We should've gone to the beach, I mumbled, drooling, practically my skin melting off as he hummed.

"Hm?" He asked, catching my words when no one else had. But he was paying attention to my mouth, my lips as they formed to create the harsh fitting words. He waited for an answer, as I didn't know how to get lost in a conversation with him in the middle of the table.

"The beach... I really like the beach". I spoke harshly as he nodded his head, the  words alone rushing through his head, only wondering what I was looking at rather than staring at. But there was something about him, he always just seemed to know what I was thinking, what I needed to tell him.

And I needed to say so much, I would love him until the day I would die, but was I ready to forgive him. To invite him back into my life

Civil, we were working towards civil as he turned his mouth to the side,and my stomach ached and urned. For him. It was all for him at the end of this.

"Does Ray like the beach?" Everyone was immersed in their own conversations, to miss his question, to miss it immensely as I cleared my throat and wanted to form an answer, before scary words left my mouth, itching to escape.

"He does... he loves it." I responded as Luca smiled, content with my answer, as I hoped someone would pull me into their own conversation as I wanted to draw our eyes from each other.

The conversation was so plain, so vague talking about our love for the beach. The sand, the water. I wasn't sure where he wanted to go with this as I ducked my head lower, to avoid his gaze.

"I love the beach too... in Miami you wore this stringy set.... I could see everything". He whispered hushed under his breath as my heart flushed, my mind flushed as I tried to remember everything that had made me break up with him, mistakes were made as I smiled at his statement.

His eyes seemed mesmerized as I held my hand beneath the table, pressing into the folds of my dress. I grew damp at the mention of his words alone, but his shoe slowly crept up my leg as he got lower and lower in the seat as I mumbled a soft cry.

"Luca". I said his name in a warning as his shoe came closer and he looked over at me, a smirk covering his face.

We couldn't start this once more, we couldn't start this ever.

"If you were mine again... I would touch you all the time. I would never leave your side. I can't survive without you". His pleas were made as he spoke desperately across the table and I wanted to tell hi it was the same for me. But I wasn't sure if I was ready, ready for him to be back, ready to let him in again.

I shuddered softly as I felt his cold shoe press against my leg, and Layla's attention was drawn to me.

"Are you okay?" She looked towards me and then to Luca, blaming him for my cursed moan. But she didn't take it that way, and neither would anyone else, nobody knew what was going on underneath this scorned table.