𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 | Hwang Hyunjin

0.2

- - pink + white - Frank Ocean ; above and beyond - Danileigh - -

I quickly let go of the boy, I notice that my left arm is still bleeding, and now the blood is in his hair, on his neck and on his hoodie.

"I-I'm so sorry, it wasn't-", I try to apologize.
"It's okay, it's not that big of a deal", he waves it off.
And I don't really care about his stupid hoodie and what happens to it but I need to seem like I do. I need to put on a whole new personality.

A nicer personality.
I think that's way more beneficial for me.
Nobody would like me the way I am now.

He takes off his mask, I can get a look of his full face for the first time. He is really pretty, he still looked very young.

He grabs my hands and helped me get up.
Usually, I would punch him right now, nobody touches me just like that, I hate that. But I need to keep up my act.
It will be hard to do that. But it will be over soon.

"We need to clean up your wound or else it will get infected. I will call my manager and he will for an hotel room for you", Felix says and takes out his phone.

His manager? That isn't good. Who the fuck is he that he has a manager?
"No- please not", I stutter.

"Why?", he looks up from his phone.
"I don't want anyone to know, I- I-", I act some slight panic, even tho it isn't even that fake.
Some tears run out of my eyes.

"Soomin. Calm down. Take a deep breath", he holds me by the shoulders.
I do what he said. I breath in and out a few times.
That also gave me some time to think about what to tell him.

"Don't call anyone, not your manager or anyone. I don't want that they call the police or something. If they call them, I have to go to my aunt and my uncle, but I can't go there, they hate me, my life will be a nightmare there."

"Okay, I won't call the manager. And I won't call the police", he repeats to assure me.
"We need to find a place for you to sleep. You can't stay here."

He thinks about it a for a few moments.
"We will look for an hotel. I think there is one not that far from here. But we still need a car", he explains. 
I nod and he calls someone.

We wait some time, when a big black car pulled over.
"Let's go", he says and opens the car door for me.
I am still a little bit unsure. I still could get kidnapped now.

But then Felix smiles at me.
A kidnapper wouldn't smile at me like that. And it's good, that means he has some sympathy with me.
So I go into the car.

And I have nothing to loose. I mean what would happen if I get kidnapped? The worst scenario is that I get killed, and I guess that isn't even as bad as living with my aunt and my uncle.

To be honest, I thought about many many times  about killing myself when I was still at home.
Just to get out of this nightmare. So that it just stops, all this pressure and hate.

But I'm not a quitter.
I'm not a fucking weakling.
And I don't want to die now.
I can't just go like that.

If I would go now, all the years of fighting, all the years of sitting it through would be for nothing.
I am finally free now. And I want to stay it.
I want to enjoy life.

"Soomin?"
I flinch a little bit. I didn't notice that so zoned out. 
I look up to him.

"Yes?", I answer shyly.
I hate that voice of mine I am using but whatever. 
Felix points out of the window.
We arrived at a hotel and I didn't even noticed it.
So we both leave the car.