𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 | Hwang Hyunjin

4.1

~~
Hyunjin's pov

She comes closer to me and rests her head on my chest, under the blanket.
"Oh man, I wish we could just stay in bed the whole day", I sigh.
"Me too."

"Would it be that bad if we would?", I look down to her.
"I have to go to work this night. But you have a schedule. A pretty busy one."

"I just tell them I'm sick and that I'm at my parents. I really don't go. Can't I just stay with you forever?"
She gives me a kiss on the chest.
"I wish I could stay with you till the end of my life."
She looks up.

"You can. I promise. But now you need to get up. I really don't want you to get into any trouble."

Even tho I really don't want to, I do what she says. I get out of the bed and put on my clothes. I take my stuff and get ready to leave.

I was just about to go, but I turn back around to Soomin, who is still laying in bed, now on her phone.
"Bye bye, Minnie", I say and blow her a kiss before I leave.

"Ew disgusting", she answers and I have to chuckle.
She's so cute.
But now I really leave the apartment and go to my car.

I can't stop smiling. I never met a person who makes me as happy as her. And I don't think I ever will. She's just so perfect.

I still have to tell the boys some day. It breaks my heart to not being able to share it with them.
I just want to tell them so bad. But I'm so scared of it at the same time.

What if they don't want that I'm back together with her? I know they just want the best for me. And she already broke my heart.

And to that comes the fact that I am an idol.
I shouldn't be dating. At least the dating ban ended. But I really don't want to get Soomin into a drama again.

The first time, they didn't made that big of a deal out of it. But you never know what will happen in the future.

It's all so complicated. Why can't everything just be simple and easy?
I really wish everything would be easier.
It's all I want.

~

I often spent the night at Soomin's place. But I just want to see her as often as possible.
And that means I always get back to the dorm early in the morning.

"Hey, Hyunjin. You should really stop going out that much", Chan says.

I roll my eyes.
"Are we still discussing this? I thought we were over that.", I ask.

"No, we are not over that. You should sleep more. And please don't drink that much alcohol. It's not healthy, you can't go out that much. I really thought you would be a little bit more responsible, after you got out of your depression time."

"Hey, you're not a doctor, who said I had depression? I was completely fine. And I'm completely fine now too", I may sound a little mean, but I had to get defensive. He should just stop.

"Are you still not over it?", Chan sounds pissed now too. He really lost his patience.
"Hyunjin, stop being so petty. You had enough time, seriously. I really thought you were doing better. Just forget her. She just was a bad human and you got your heart broken, we get it. But seriously, get over it."

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. I never expected him to say something like that.

"How dare you talking to me like this? I am completely fine, don't you get it? I am happy. So stop acting like a fucking therapist. You are not. I don't need your help."

"Then why are you getting so mad? There's something bothering you. Just tell me and stop acting like a moody teenager."

I give him a deathly stare. He is really pissing me off.
"Just shut the fuck up, I don't need your help", I stand up.

"Hey, where are you going?"
I go to my coat and take out my cigarettes and my lighter and then go to the little balcony from our kitchen that is full with garbage.

"Hyunjin, what are you doing?", I can hear Jisung. He follows me to the balcony, but I just ignore him and light on my cigarette.
He looks at me with his mouth open.

"Yo, what the fuck? Since when do you smoke?", he asks.
"None of your business", I turn away from him.
"Chan!", he goes back inside and goes to search Chan.

"Hyunjin is smoking!", I can hear him shout.
"He's smoking?", Jeongin asks back.
I can't even have my peace out here, I can still hear them shouting around the apartment. I just wanted a moment of silence, but I can't even have that.

I take a take a deep breath and let all the smoke slowly out, trying to calm myself a little bit down.
After some moments, Chan comes to the balcony.
"Give me that", he says and holds out his hand so that I can hand my pack cigarette to him.

But I am not planning to do anything Chan wants at the moments. He's just really annoying me.
So I breathe out the smoke into his face, to provoke him a little bit. And he it works, he's triggered, I can clearly see that, just the way he grinds his teeth. But he does't want to get mad.

"Hyunjin, what is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?"
"Because you are annoying me", I throw the cigarettes onto the ground, light it out with my foot and go back in. But I am not planning to stay here. I just want to get out of here.

"Where are you going?", Felix asks when he sees me passing by him taking my coat.
"Away from you guys", I just mumble, take my car keys and leave.

Felix just looks at the door close after me and doesn't say anything or tried anything.

~~
Soomin's pov

I can hear the doorbell.
Why would anyone come here this early?
I go to the intercom.

"Yes?"
"Hi, Soomin, it's me. Can I come in?"
Hyunjin? What is he doing here?
I open the door for him.

"Hey, what's wrong?"
"I had a fight with Chan. I won't go back there today."
"What? Why?"

We sit down on the couch.
"Is don't know, he was just making me so angry. He kept asking questions and he acts like he's my fucking therapist."

"He only wants the best for you. Even tho it annoys you. But let's just calm down. Do you want to watch a drama or a movie or something?"
He nods in agreement.

"You can choose something. I'm gonna make some food. I didn't had breakfast yet."
I go into the kitchen and

~~
Hyunjin's pov

"Should we go out?", I ask her.
We were watching a drama the whole day, just laying on the couch not really doing anything.
She looks at me and nods.

"Good idea."
"Where should we go?"
I just shrug my shoulders.
"I don't really care to be honest. I just need a little bit of- fresh air, you know?"

"Then let's just go somewhere, you know?"
I nod.
Just somewhere.
Without any destination.

Because that doesn't really matter. As long as Soomin is there.

~~~~~