𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 | Hwang Hyunjin

3.6

~~
Soomin's pov

"Thank you", the girl says after I give her her drink.
I smile.
"You're so hot", she says and her friend laughs.
They must already be a little bit drunk.

"How old are you guys? You seem a little young."
"Where 19."
"Are you guys sure? Can I see your ID's?"

"Uh, yeah", they both looked in there bags.
"Uhm, I don't have mine with me."
"Yeah, me neither. But I swear we are 19."
Shake my head.

"I know you guys aren't 19. Just go and take your drinks and don't do any anything dumb or I will get in trouble", I really don't want to argue with these teenagers so I hope they don't get noticed.

"And you're still a girl crush", Hyunjin says. I flinch. He's sitting there, not far away from me on the other side of the bar. He must've heard my whole conversation.

"What are you doing here?", I ask him. I'm a little bit tense right now, I don't feel really for this. My heart is beating so fast, it's gonna explode every second.
"Can't I have my fun?"

I don't answer. I don't know what I should say to him.
"So, you work here?"
I nod.

He just takes a sip out of his drink and stares into the air and sighs.
"Chinsun. That means truth, doesn't it?", he mumbles.

Oh god does he has to come straight to the point?
I have to swallow. I don't answer again.
"Kinda ironic."
I sigh.

"Why are you talking to me? Don't you like hate me?", I ask him.
He takes another sip.
"I do still hate you. I don't know why I'm talking to you."

I sigh again.
He really is making me crazy. How can he be so chill about it, just talking to me like that? I literally could have a heart attack every moment.

But then I decide that if I already have the chance, I can tell him just a little bit of everything I wanted to tell him.

"If I tell you anything you probably won't believe me?"
"Probably not."
Saw that one coming.

"Okay, but then I can ask you something: Are you okay?", I look him in the eyes.
He lets out an sarcastic snort.
"Why do you care?", he asks.

"You won't believe me anyways but I want you to be happy."
"No, I don't believe you. But I'm okay", he quickly answers.

"I don't believe you either. I really care about you and I notice that you are not okay."
He bows over the counter so that his face is very very close to mine.

"Why do you keep lying? I hate it when someone hates into my face, Song Chinsun."
"It's Kim Soomin now", I answer him, trying not to sound nervous affected by what he said.

"Oh, Great. So a different name changes everything. Are you a different person now? Are you better now?", He asks in a sarcastic tone.

"Hey, hey, hey, good guy. Please let the lady a little space", someone says and pulls Hyunjin back by his shoulder.
Hyunjin seems surprised.
"Sungho?"

"Is this guy bothering you, Soomin?", Sungho asks.
"And who are you, old man? Her sugar daddy?", Hyunjin asks. He sounds really arrogant.

"What do you want, you chopstick? Hey, I already saw you once, right?", he asks. "In the hotel. Are you stalking her?"

Hyunjin looks like he's ready to throw punches.
"Guys. Are you fucking crazy? Please calm down and don't be so rude to each other or else I have to kick you out."

They still look like they want to kill each other.
"Hyunjin, please go."
"Yes, of course, I will let you and your boyfriend alone."

I leave the bar and drag him away.
"He's not my boyfriend", I mumble.

"Oh, he's not? I thought he might be your type: rich."
"Please stop being so rude. I really need to go back to work. Please don't start any drama."
I let him sit down at another place and go back.

~

I can't stop thinking about my talk with Hyunjin. It was so weird. I just want to forget him. But it's just so hard to do so. Why did he even talk to me in the first place?

He could've just let it be. And then he came so close. It made my heart beat 7 times faster. And I couldn't move. I didn't knew that my feelings for him were still so strong for him.

Don't they like go away after some time? I wish they would. But guess it will take some more time.

~~
Hyunjin's pov

I get out of the bed and put on a hoodie.
I take a card for the room to the elevator go into the elevator and press the button for the top floor.

And from there, I take the stairs to the roof of the hotel.
And when I arrive there, I close my eyes take a deep breath.

Then I take out a cigarette and light it on. If Chan would see me he would kill me.
But I really don't care. I mean my health is shit anyways, that probably won't change it.
Ugh.

I can't stop thinking about earlier.
Why the fuck did I talk to her?
I could've just let it be.

But when I saw her, I couldn't take my eyes off her.
I just had this desire to talk to her.
And when this dude acted like he was better than me and like he knew her better than me, I got angry. I was really angry.

Was I jealous?
Maybe.

Does that mean I still like her?
I thought it was over. Or at least I always told myself that.

Why would I still like her, what the fuck is going on with my feelings? I mean she did horrible things. She lied to us, she used us. And she's a fucking murderer.

I don't know why but I don't really care about that fact. She told me how horrible her family was, maybe they deserve it. Or did she only told me this to make herself look like she's the victim?

She could've lied about that too. But I don't really think that. I  have this feeling that she didn't lie about that. I mean she cried and panicked so much that one night, nobody could fake that.

Why did her love feel so real?
Ugh, why am I thinking about that?
I don't know what to.

I light out my cigarette and go to the border of the roof. It looks so pretty at night.

~~~~~