𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 | Hwang Hyunjin

2.2

"My nightmares were always about my family. You know, my family never treated me well." I stop for a moment. I have a short moment of regret. Do I really want to tell him? But I trust him.

"I always had to be the perfect child. My grades at school had to be perfect, I had to be the best at ballet classes and at piano lessons. I couldn't have any friends, they were distractions.

My sister had way more freedom because my parents never wanted her to be perfect. She wasn't as pretty as me or had an as athletic body, so she got a little bit forgotten. And that made her hate me too. I had nobody.

At school, everyone was scared at me. And if I wasn't the 'perfect child' I got punished by our house maid. She was a real witch. I got hit by her so many times. She really knew how to hurt me. It was horrible.

And my mom would always help her. I can't even describe how much I hate her. She was the one who always told her what to do, but she never wanted to get her own hands dirty.

She was cold hearted and evil. She controlled my whole life. She hated me, I knew that, and she showed me everyday that she hated me.

And then there was my dad. Basically, he was the worse. The thing is, he never did anything. But he ignored it all. It's like he didn't knew me. I never had the permission to talk to him. It's even worse than someone who hates you and shows it, he hated me and just acted like I didn't exist.

He didn't give a fuck what happened to me, he hated kids from the beginning. They all were so horrible to me. But the worst thing was when they once locked me away until I went crazy."

"Oh- wow. I didn't know. That's-"
"Can we please stop talking about it."
I look up at Hyunjin. He didn't notice that I started crying.

"Minnie, I'm so sorry that you had to go trough that, I had no idea. Why did you never told me?", he asks and pulls me closer to him.

"Because I don't want your pity", I look back down.
"But you are not okay. Hey, look at me", he pulls my chin up again.

"I am there for you when you don't feel good, okay. Just like you were there for me."
"I'm a hopeless case, Hyunjin, you won't change anything", I swallow. The tears are still running out of my eyes, but I can still see him so close to me, looking me into the eyes.

For one moment, it's like we are frozen. Nobody moves.

But then, he comes closer and just kisses me.
It surprises me. I don't know how to act in the first moment. But then I go with it. It makes me feel better, just like last time. It really has this comforting feeling.

I slowly pull away.
We really shouldn't do that.
"H-Hyun, you should stop kissing people you want to comfort."

I look down again, but he immediately lifts my head up again.
"I don't kiss people I want to comfort. I want to kiss you."

And he kisses me again. But this time more intense. And that surprises me even more. But I just let him. It just feels so right. And I kiss him back. He pulls back and looks at me. He seems a bit scared, probably by how I react.

But I don't really know what I'm thinking. In this exact moment, I thought about nothing, except Hyunjin. And I realize something really important.

All this time I spend with him, I began to like him. Really really much. His presence always makes me feel better. I can always talk with him, his smile brightens my day and I feel secure around him. I always want him to be with me. Forever.

"Again", I whisper.

He seems so relived. And he kisses me again. He cups my face and I slide even closer to him, laying my hands on his chest. I never felt happier in my life. Ever. I never want this to end. I always want to have his lips on mine.

But after some moments, he pulls away again. "Soomin, I like you. I want to be with you. I fell for you, so bad."
"Me too, Hyunjin."
We both smile. And then, we kiss each other again.
~~
Hyunjin's pov

I am the happiest person in the world right now. I never want this to end. After I kissed her for the first time today, I was scared to death.

I knew that I was craving this feeling of kissing her, so I had to do it again. And I was so scared that it could be the last time. But it wasn't. And I was so relieved. I just needed this. And now I am just so happy.

But suddenly, Kkami just up in the bench next to us.
We both have to giggle.

"He doesn't get enough attention."
I notice that we were already out for some time. I take out my phone.
"It's already after 12 o'clock, we should go home", I say.

Soomin nods and we stand up. We walk next to each other. I look down.

Should I take her hand now? I don't know if that's a good idea. Maybe she thinks it's too cheesy. But I want to hold her. So I grab her hand. I can see she is smiling.  I had to smile too. Nobody says anything, but nobody has to say anything, it's not like it's cringe or something. We're just enjoying each other's presence.

~~
Soomin's pov

"Minnie?", Hyunjin asks.
"Yes?"
"Did you realize you liked me before?", he asks carefully.

We're laying in his bed that was kinda small but nobody really cares.

"No, I never really thought about it before to be honest. But I guess I didn't wanted to think about it."
"I- I thought about it many many, but I never came to a solution. I- uhm- I told Felix about our kiss."
I sit up.

"You told Felix? Are you out of your mind?", I ask and hit him on his arm.
"Chill out. It was only him. And he helped me. I told him that I didn't knew why I kissed you back then, if it really was only to comfort you. And he told me to think about it if I like you."

"But, please don't tell anyone yet that we are- you know- a thing. At least for the moment."
Hyunjin takes me into his arms.
"I'm not going to."

I make myself comfortable on his chest.
And just now I realize how fucking stupid I am and what a bad idea this is. I mean, what am I expecting?

That we can live a happy and normal life together? That would be to good to be true. He's an idol.
He has a contract that he can't date. If it comes out, he could be fired. And I could be too. I work for him.

And not to forget that I am basically a killer. And I always told myself not to make myself dependent from other people. It goes against all of our morals.

Why? Because we both are some egoistic pieces of shit. I mean if it come out, it wouldn't only affect Hyunjin, it would also affect the other boys. Why am I doing this? Why did I agreed doing this?

But right now, there is one thing I really don't want in this world. And that's not being with Hyunjin. I can't lie to myself. I really like him.

On my god. It's so complicated. How the fuck could it come to this point? How did I get so close to Hyunjin?

I think I forget the fact that I hated him so freaking much in the beginning. How did all this happen so fast. What steps did I not notice?
Ugh.

~~~~~
(A/n)

It's not gonna end now that they are happy

I mean that would be boring we need something to ruin this