𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 | Hwang Hyunjin

3.7

~~
Soomin's pov

I just was giving this guy his drink, when I see someone in the corner of my eye.
It's Hyunjin. Again.

I already saw him a few times these last weeks. I have no fucking idea what he's doing here. I always try to act like he's not there and ignore him. I try to ignore him again like usually, but he comes closer and sits down in front of me.

"I'm not gonna give you anything to drink, you should stop."
"Don't act like you're better", he responds.
I sigh.

"So, Tell me. What are you doing nowadays?", he asks.
I'm hella confused.
"Why do you care?"

"You know, I think I decided to stop hating you. Or maybe not to hate you that much. Maybe."
"Are you believing Me? Do you forgive me?", I ask expectant.

"Hey, i never said that. And I'm still thinking about it, because I don't know if it's a good idea. You did horrible things. And you made me feel horrible. But I think it's a little bit petty to be mad for such a long time. I'm not a baby."

"Okay, cool, I guess. So what does that mean exactly?", everything is so awkward.
"I don't know. I want you to live an okay life. So I'm asking you. How are you doing with your life?"
That's weird.

Where is the sudden change coming from?
"Uhm, I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you, ask me something more specific."
"Is this your only work?"

"Uhm, technically yes, but uhm-"
"You have another way to get to money, am I right?"
I nod.
"Are there guys like the one I met the first time I talked to you?"

I look down. It's kinda embarrassing to admit that in front of him. I feel like he's judging me.
But I nod.
"As long as you don't sell drugs, it's okay, I guess", he answers surprisingly. He seems to be really changed. He gives way less fuck about anything.

"Okay, so your apartment is okay? Do you get hot water?", he keeps asking. It's so weird that he's just casually talking to me like that.
"Uhm, yeah, I kinda like my apartment. What can I do for you?", I ask the guy who just came to order something. I still need to do my job, I can't just chill the whole time.

"Uhm, two martini rosato please", the guy answers.
But Hyunjin doesn't seems to be bothered. He just keeps asking me questions.

"Okay, good. Who are your friends?"
"I don't have friends."
"I can be your friend", the guy I am just making the martinis for answers.

"Hey, don't listen to our conversation, that's private", Hyunjin says to this dude.
"It's okay. I'm so sorry, he's a little bit rude", I give the boy his drinks and he goes while smiling at me.
Then Hyunjin comes back to the topic.

"Why don't you have any friends?"
"I don't need friends."
"Are you sure about that? Everyone needs friends."
I just shrug my shoulders.

"You should get yourself some friends. I'm sure there are engough people that want to be friends with you. But not this guy here, he was a little bit creepy. Did you see the way he smiled?"

"Stop being so rude please. It's my turn to ask questions now", I look over to my coworker who makes me a sign that I can go now, since my shift ends earlier today.

"Should we go outside?", I ask him.
He nods.
Outside, we walk a little bit together until we find a quiet spot to sit down.

"Okay, it's my turn. Are you sleeping enough?"
"Depends on what you call enough."
"Do you sleep every night?"
He doesn't answers.
"That's a no, I guess."

"Next question, please", he tries to wave it off.
"Okay, uhm, do you eat regularly?"
"Don't act like you do", he says again.
I sigh.

"Okay, I already see that this isn't gonna go anywhere. Hyunjin please, I don't want to be rude or disrespectful but it's kinda uncomfortable for me to just talk to you like that. I still feel so bad for what I did and I don't know, this is just so weird."

He just looks at me for a moment.
"I don't know why you are so believable when you say stuff like this."
"Because I'm not lying."

He just looks me in the eyes and doesn't answer.
I really think now is the right time to apologize again. I really believe he changed and this isn't as bad for him as a few months ago.

"I know it's hard for you to believe me and I'm really really sorry. And I lied to you in the beginning, but then I started to really really like you. And you brought up a better person in me.

And it was so painful for me when you told me how much you hated me. If I weren't honest at this point, why would I even be here right now? I wouldn't probably come back here, I would've left the country so that I never see you again.

But I don't want to leave. And I know it sounds kinda egoistic, but I just can't find peace of mind knowing you guys never forgave me. And it's really important to me, I want you guys to know the truth."

I never really realized that staying here in Seoul really had to do with the boys until I said it out loud. I always told myself it's because I like this city so much, but deep down I know it's because of them.

"Please, forgive me", I say and knee down on the ground in front of him. Some people would think it's humiliating and downgrading to just go to the ground in front of a guy, but I think it's necessary.

Hyunjin seems surprised by that, he looks around to check that nobody saw us so that they don't think he's doing anything to me.

"Soomin, get up from the ground", he says nervously and looks around if anyone is watching.
I look up at him, but I still don't stand up.
"I don't don't know, I think I believe you. I-
I think I can forgive you."

That is such a relieve for me. I still don't know where this sudden change comes from, but I don't care. That is literally the only thing I wished for the last months. And I thought it would never happen.

I thought I would never have the chance to apologize. But here I am. Who woud've thought he actually would forgive me?

"Now please, get up from the ground", he
grabs me by the arm and pulls me up.
I sit down next to him again.
"Thank you."

And now there is this silence everybody usually hates.
But I think, in this moments, nobody needs to say anything.

"I'm going home. It's late. You should go too", Hyunjin says.
I nod.
"Bye. Have a good night", he says when we both our own ways home.
"Yes, good night."

~~
Hyunjin's pov

I feel kinda happy now. I just think I can believe her. She wouldn't lie now, right? And it's just such a relief to know that now, we're just okay.

I think I can finally end this whole chapter. It was longer than I thought. But it has a better ending now. It makes me a little bit sad that it ends now. But it's time for it. And maybe now, I can finally get over her. It will be easier now.

"Hyunjin, are you okay?", Chan asks. He seems confused.
"Did something happen? You look so- so happy."
"Nothing special. I just feel good", I shrug with my shoulders.

Chan smiles.
"I'm glad you okay. You seemed kinda down since some time. I never saw you like this for a while", he lays his arms around me and taps my shoulder.
Then he stands up.
"We should go to sleep."

~~~~~
(A/n)

Uhm so the day I publish this is the 20th March so happy Hyunjin dayyy <3