You're Such An Idiot

Chapter 18-Catra

I can't sleep, but I also can't really get up. I've been hugging Melog for a whole hour, or maybe even more, I don't know, I lost track of time. Melog's purring is the only thing that gives me some kind of comfort right now. My head seems so empty, I find it hard to think about anything at all. It's like a part of me is desperately trying to keep me from thinking, because if I allow myself to do it, I know it's going to hurt. And I don't want to get hurt anymore.

A sudden knock on the door makes me start. I try to ignore it, but they insist.

"Catra, it's me!" It's Scorpia's voice. "Do you mind if I come in?"

I do actually. I don't want to see anybody. But Scorpia... I shut her out so many times, but I promised her I would be a better friend. I'd better start making good on that promise.

"Sure, come in" I reply, with little enthusiasm.

I'm not looking in her direction, so I can't see her coming in, but I can definitely hear it, since she somehow manages to trip and drop something, breaking it. I don't even know what that is.

"Whoops, eheh" she chuckles, nervously. "My bad. Uhm, yes, anyway..." She doesn't come any closer, respecting my personal space, surprisingly. "Bow and Glimmer told me what happened and... yeah, I know you won't probably like it, but I have an idea that might make you feel better. Soooooo, I was thinking if you would... you know... uuuuh... would you like to join me in the gardens for a guided meditation with Perfuma?"

"For a what?" I repeat, lazily lifting my head.

"Oh, it's cool, I've done it before!" she answers, excited. "It's just about breathing and letting your emotions flow"

"Sounds stupid"

"Yeah, I knew you would say that" she chuckles. "But I really think you should try. I was skeptical too at first, but it really helps you, actually. I mean, it helped me, at least. I think you might like it, if you just give it a try"

I sigh, deeply, and sit up. Melog wakes up and rubs their head against my cheek, affectionately. It's not like I have anything to lose, I guess.

"Fine, whatever" I shrug. "But I'm bringing Melog"

When we reach Perfuma in the gardens, we find her sitting cross-legged in the grass, her back straight, her hands placed on her knees, palms up.

"Catra, you came!" she exclaims, surprised. "I'm so glad!"

"Yeah, don't get too excited about it" I grunt. "I was just bored"

"It's alright, come sit in front of me" she says with a smile.

I snort and obey, as Scorpia takes place on Perfuma's right. Melog curls up next to me, looking curious.

"Okay, first of all" she starts, "try to relax. Cross your legs and place your hands on your knees, so that the energy in your body is all connected. Remember to keep your palms up: this means that even though you are sitting, therefore in touch with the ground, you are also open to receive the energy from the sky"

I take a look at Scorpia, who seems to know what she's doing, as she is already in a perfect position. Every part of me thinks that this whole thing is ridiculous, but I'll make an exception this time, just for Scorpia. I get into position and wait for Perfuma's next directions.

"Okay, now close your eyes" she says, doing it. I raise my eyebrow, looking at Scorpia, but she winks at me and does the same. Alright, then. I close my eyes.

"Now we are ready to start" says Perfuma. "Try to focus only on my voice, let it guide you into the depths of your mind. Now, breathe in, deeply and slowly. You have to visualize your lungs filling up with pure, fresh air. That's the positive energy you want to welcome inside your body. Don't exhale until I tell you to"