Heartlines

7: Secrets

We are sitting on his couch studying or at least trying to. Ben is shirtless with those damn gray sweats that I adore. I was torturing him with a small white tank top and short pajama shorts. Both of us keep inching closer and closer to each other. I want his lips on me and to feel his arms wrap around my naked body.

Sex with Ben sounds a hell of a lot better than studying my ethics of law book.

We have been dating for almost a month, and all of our free time is spent together. Most of the time, we are here, in his apartment.

Ben didn't like my roommates and being far from them was his idea. To say they didn't support us would be an understatement. I believe the girls just thought Ben was an itch I needed to scratch, not someone I could fall for. They thought I needed someone that could take care of me financially, and they didn't think he could.

What I need from Ben is emotional support and he gives it to me freely.

After my birthday, Ben cleaned out two drawers for me and made space for me in his tiny closet. I knew that he would be happy if I never went back to the townhouse, and I was really starting to consider it, but what if the two of us didn't work out. I would be homeless.

Looking up from my textbook, I watch the concentration on his face. Whatever he is studying, it seems important because he is focused on the page.

Earlier, I put his long hair up in a bun to keep it out of his face, it matches well with the pink v-neck he took from my drawer. At first, I was angry he destroys one of my shirts with his muscle, but I love the way it hugs him.

I want to tear that shirt from his body. I close my textbook, toss it on the ground below, and inch my way closer to him on the couch. I can't concentrate being this close to him. Ben looks up from his textbook with a wicked grin.

"What are you working next week?" I ask.

"Monday through Wednesday. I usually leave early Thursday morning." He shares.

Next week is Thanksgiving and we haven't talked about what each of us were doing. I don't have anywhere to go, but I wasn't sure where he went. Hearing him talk about leaving makes my heart sink. We wouldn't see much of each other next week because we'd be busy with school, and he would work after. I wasn't about to become the whiny girlfriend, but the thought of not seeing him was making me sad.

"Do you go home for the day?" I probe for more information.

He shakes his head. "Nah, I thought we could stay the weekend and fish..." He stops mid-sentence realizing what he just said. "SHIT...are you going back to Minnesota? I was just assuming that you'd come home with me. I never asked you, I just told my grandparents I was bringing you. I'm sorry for assuming." He looks at me with big eyes.

Biting my bottom lip, I shake my head at him. Minnesota hasn't been my home for years and I knew I was going to have to tell him the things that I've been delaying. My last five Thanksgivings have been alone in Boston.

"I don't leave Boston." I tell him.

"You don't like your family?" He jokes.

I pause and look him in the eyes. "I don't have a family. It's just me." I confess.

I had known this conversion was going to come up and we'd have to talk about it. It was inevitable. Part of me never wanted to tell Ben my sad little tale, but it was time that he knew the truth about my past.

Ben puts his textbook on the floor before reaching for me. Carefully, he pulls me to the safety of his lap and wraps his arms around my waist. I snake my arms around his neck and kiss his nose sweetly.