Three days later, while we are out on the catamaran, my phone rings on the seat next to me, I make the mistake of looking down.
Merry Christmas. It sure is different without you here with us, but I'm sure you and that Beneventi kid are having a blast. I know that he is treating you well. Give him my wishes and I hope you kids are enjoying your time together. Love, Alex.
Tucking my phone away, I look out across the water. I love being here with Ben, but I was slightly sad to be away from Vancouver for Christmas. In a way, I feel like I'm betraying my parent's memories and traditions.
"Ally, I'm sorry that you have to be away from them this year. It's all my fault." Ben says next to me.
I turn to look at him, "what are you talking about? This place is warm and beautiful. I have my gorgeous fiancé to myself with no cares in the world. No one knows where we are, and I get the relaxed, playful Ben to myself. This place is damn near perfect." I grin at him.
"You've never lied to me...please don't start." He looks at me sad while kissing my forehead.
"Does it suck being away from home at Christmas? Sure. I'm with you now and it's time to make new memories and new traditions. It doesn't matter where we spend Christmas as long as you're right next to me. I'm having a fantastic Christmas break with you. Please stop apologizing for something that is out of your control."
"I did have control." He mumbles.
"UGH!" I shout.
This is the same thing we always argue about. He is wrecking Christmas by opening his mouth about people I didn't care about. If I have to hear one more time that I would be safer if he stayed away from me, I will push him overboard.
He was really pissing me off.
I stand from my couch and move towards the front of the boat. He follows me.
"Ally, just admit that your life would be better without me."
"My life would totally suck without you. The girls probably would have gotten their way and I'd be marrying some Harvard douche if it wasn't for you. I like how my life is working out and that includes the good and bad. Life isn't easy. You challenge me on a daily basis. Every day, I see things in a different light because of you."
"Just admit that it would be easier. Finally tell me." He demands.
Turning around, I'm angry and the tears are filling my eyes. "FINE. Yes, my life would be easier and boring if I didn't meet you...but I would still be miserable and alone. You are the first person to make me feel things again. You taught me how to open my heart and love someone again. Losing you will destroy me. I didn't meet you on accident, this has been the plan the entire time. Ben we were supposed to find each other and create this epic love story. Is it perfect? Hell no. Do you drive me crazy? Most day. But don't ever tell me that life would be better without you again." I tell him angry.
"How are you so sure?" He asks.
"How are you not? You asked me to marry you and if you're not positive about us...you need to take it back." I tell him hurt.
Ben wraps me tight into his arms and I start sobbing. "I AM. I'm absolutely positive about wanting to make you my wife. I just know that means you're going to have to give up a lot to be with me."
"Because I had such a great life before you?" My voice was shaky with my response.
"You never had to look over your shoulder before me."
"Actually I did, quite a bit." I tell him.
"Not like this." He shakes his head.
Shaking my head I glare at him. "I'm not going to live my life in fear and wait around for the madness to explode. Our time on earth is so short that I don't want to waste it worrying about things I can't control. Please stop worrying about me, it's not your job to protect me." I tell him.
"How can you say that? Worrying about you and protecting you is all I do. I have felt nothing stronger than this urge to protect and love you. From the moment I saw you in my bar, I had a need to protect you from your bitchy roommates and now more than anything, I have to keep you safe. Don't you understand that if I lose you, there is no reason for me to stick around. It will be my undoing." He promises.
Ben drops to his knees, and I watch him fall apart completely. He is finally getting everything off his chest and telling me his deepest, darkest fears. I kneel in front of him and tell him that I feel the same way.
"Ben, you have to stop this. I know the risk and I still choose you." I cry holding him.
"I'm terrified for the first time in my life." He looks at me. "I put a target on you, and they won't stop until this war is done. I put your life in danger."
"I don't care. Why can't you understand that? I want to go back to the villa." I tell him standing up. "I hate Allen and Mickey for making you hurt this much, but you are the one that is trying to ruin everything we are building."
"I'm not trying to ruin this...I'm trying my hardest to protect it." He clarifies.
Looking over my shoulder, I frown at him. "Let's enjoy the moment. We can't worry about the tomorrows or the next months. We need to focus on the here and now. I'm newly engaged and my husband to be is trying his hardest to keep us from being happy."
Ben stands and walks to me. His arms snake around my waist and twirls me to face him. "I'm being a dick and I'm sorry."
"Thank you. You're forgiven. I still want to go back to the villa and spend the afternoon in our private hammock...naked." I roll my eyes at him.
"I don't deserve you."
"You don't, but I love you and can't walk away." I break into a grin, and he takes that as an invite to bring his lips to mine.
Back at the villa, we hurry to the deck and jump into the pool before laying on the hammock. The entire time he's making me freak out about wicked tan lines from the netting. The morning started out rough, but we spend our entire afternoon laughing with each other. In the evening, we dress up and have dinner at the steakhouse on the property.
"Tonight, we should grab the bedding from the extra bedroom and sleep on the hammock." He mentions during dinner.
I look at him with panic. Ben knows I'm terrified of the dark.
"I promise that nothing will happen to you. My body will act as your shield. We can fall asleep with the waves under us and the stars above us. Tomorrow, we can take those bicycles around the island like you want."
"I like this side of you. You should screw up more so you can fix it."
"Careful what you wish for."
YOU ARE READING
Heartlines
Romance*** Complete Story *** Allyson Sicard was in her final year at Harvard and while her roommates were trying to get their Ivy League boyfriends to propose, Ally was trying to figure out which law school she wanted to graduate from. Columbia had always...
