One Year Later...
I used to loath Valentine's Day, but my views on the holiday have changed dramatically since Ben entered it. Last year, he took me up to Maine and we stayed in a cute bed and breakfast. We had a great weekend exploring the little town, eating fresh lobster rolls, and enjoying the view of each other.
This year, it is a much different story. I'm sitting alone in a very busy restaurant waiting for him to show up, he is thirty minutes late. The waiter comes to refill my water cup for the third time.
"Can you bring me a bottle of Riesling, please." I ask him.
"Yes." He nods his head.
By the time I finish the bottle, Ben is 60 minutes late. I'm getting ready to flag the waiter down to pay the bill when I see Ben walking towards me. He is wearing jeans, a t-shirt that is wrinkled, and a zip-up hoodie with a bunch of holes in the sleeve.
He sinks into the chair across from me, I smell the alcohol and cigarettes' from across the table. My heart starts breaking, he hasn't smoked in months and his drinking is becoming more and more an issue. Ben picks up the menu and starts studying it without acknowledging or apologizing to me.
I reach for my glass of water, but my hand is shaking unsteady with the rage. Not wanting to spill the glass, I place it back on the table and look at him. I bite my bottom lip to hide the bubbling emotions brewing deep. I wait for him to say something to me. Anything to me.
Ben hasn't looked up from the menu, I hear him mumbling about the menu being too expensive and seeing nothing that he will eat. It's all too fancy for him.
Our engagement seems like a dream because we don't talk about it, or even start planning the simplest detail of a date. He won't let me wear my ring outside of our apartment in the fear of someone finding out.
I feel the ticking time bomb around us.
He is distant and acting different that last couple of months. I know something is wrong, but when he shares, it's always on his terms. He keeps me in the dark. I know it's because he feels he's protecting me, but he's doing more harm.
Disappointment washes over me when he doesn't even notice that I wore his favorite dress. It is a short black lace number that he loves. The dress was a high neck halter with sheer ties around the neck. The back is wide open until the top of my pelvis, it is very revealing. He always says it's like opening a present when he takes it off.
When the silence is too much, I speak. "Where were you?"
"School." He answers with an annoyance in his tone.
"That's it? You're only going to give me a one-word answer?"
"Yep." He nods.
"So do you want me to pretend that I don't know that something is going on? That you don't smell of cigarettes and beer. Is this how you want to do it?" I ask him hurt.
When Ben doesn't answer me, I stand from the table and grab my purse. I place my napkin on the table and grab a couple bills from my wallet to leave on the table. Turning on my heels, I walk towards the front door of the restaurant. I yell at myself to wait until we get outside to start crying.
He walks outside while I'm standing on the edge of the sidewalk trying to hail a cab. He shakes his head and lights another cigarette. Glaring at him, I tighten my coat around me because there is a sudden bitter chill in the air, and it's not from the weather.
"You'll never catch a cab tonight." He tells me.
"I'm not going to give up trying." I jab at him. "I know that's probably what you would do."
YOU ARE READING
Heartlines
Romance*** Complete Story *** Allyson Sicard was in her final year at Harvard and while her roommates were trying to get their Ivy League boyfriends to propose, Ally was trying to figure out which law school she wanted to graduate from. Columbia had always...
