Heartlines

52: Wanted

Ben walks into the bedroom close to Midnight, I'm still up and looking at him when he enters the door. He removes his watch and places it on his nightstand. 

"I've spent the entire night sitting at my desk, looking at your picture with the twins. I agree that you should go back to Vancouver, it just hurts to have my entire world move away from me." 

I shift on the bed and touch his shoulder, "I don't want to leave without you." 

He turns and covers my lips. "I'm not done. You broke my heart today - in the car. How can you not think you are my priority? From the moment I met you, you flipped the world I know, and it's never been the same. Everything I do is for you. What else do I need to do to prove that to you?" He asks me broken, slumping over his knees. 

Devastated that I made him feel this way, I hurry off the bed and kneel in front of him. I fold my hands into his. Bringing my lips to his knuckles I kiss them. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that I know that you are doing this to protect me. Today, I was helpless when the shots starting popping off. I know your job is dangerous and you love it, but all I could think in that stairwell was you getting hurt. I can't lose you. That would be the worst thing that could happen to me. I fell in love with you the moment those blue eyes smiled at me, you have a pull on me that will never break, you have changed my life completely, you make me stronger and feel beautiful. I love you." 

"That's how I feel everytime you walk out the door. I put you in this mess. Allen got to you and hurt you before I could get there. I'm scared. This is turning into something I never wanted and I'm sorry that you are involved with it. I'm scared...I'm scared of everything, I never was before." He breaks down. 

I stand and shoot into his lap in a second. My fingers run through his head, and I softly kiss his forehead. Ben's arms hugs me tight to him. My t-shirt is damp with his tears into my chest, I want to make it better, but I can't take the fear from him. Slowly, I move my lips to his ear and give it a kiss. "You're my everything." 

Ben's fingers dig into me while he removes the t-shirt from my body. His lips gently kiss their way from my stomach to breasts. I look down at him and push his tears away with my thumbs. His lips find mine, our bodies desperately trying to mold together. He moves me from his lap and puts me on my back, not breaking the kiss. 

Moaning into his mouth, I push my lower half at him. His fingers slide down my legs and linger in the middle. I'm panting and praying for the touch of his fingers. I need to feel wanted by him. That's what I crave most in life. 

I move my hand down to his cock and start stroking. Ben grunts into my mouth and I smile. Hearing him turned on, is everything for me. 

"Ally?" He breaks our suction and looks down at me. "If you don't slow down, I'm going to ruin this makeup session." 

Grinning at him, I nod. "We have all night." 

Laughing, he pushes a finger into the wet middle, and I moan like a desperate woman. Ben starts laughing, "we should fight more. I like making up with you."

"Will you shut up and kiss me like earlier?" I grind against his finger. 

He bobs his head down to me, letting his lips touch mine, but doesn't kiss me. 

"You're in trouble now. I'm not good expressing my feelings, so let me show you." He whispers sexy. 

"Holy shit." I mumble at him. "More of that. I like that." 

Laughing, he replaces his fingers with him. Ben kisses me gently while he slides in and out. My fingers claw at the back of his head, and I push his mouth into me harder. I'm kissing him with desperation and desire. 

The slow slides get harder and deeper. I feel it starting low in my stomach, I don't want it to end yet. I want to kiss him all night. 

"What do you want?" He kisses into my neck. 

"Harder." I moan.

"Are you sure that's what you need?" 

I pull away from him and look at him. I shake my head and he stops moving. 

"You said harder?"

"And you asked if that's what I needed, not wanted. Wants and needs are very different. I need you - now and forever." I declare.