tom holland oneshots

irreversible

harrsion osterfield x reader (angst) - harrison cheats on the reader

wc: 1k

You could tell by the way he walked. The way he used to own up to being the man he is, the way he was so proud to be around everyone, showed them off because they made him who he was.

He didn't walk the same.

He didn't stay that same man. You supposed maybe the way he looked at you was different, that his eyes didn't shine as bright, or sparkle as loudly. Maybe it was the love.

Maybe it wasn't there anymore.

The thoughts tore you apart inside, because you knew he would never fall out of love with you. Your bond was so strong, so dependable. You'd known him for years before you started going out, and you knew he went into relationships seriously; they weren't games for him.

You felt like a game, though.

You felt as if you were tossed around like a ragdoll, picked and nagged at for fun until you splintered, rendered useless because you weren't the same human you were when you walked into this.

And yeah, you were fine with being the ragdoll at first. But too much of anything can kill you, and you hoped he would notice how much it was tearing up apart. Breaking you up, poisoning you from the inside out. And the worst part was that you knew where it was coming from, the pain and the melancholy.

You knew it was coming from the one thing Harrison was supposed to protect.

And you knew he had stopped protecting it.

Your knight came home one night, without your heart carefully locked away, hidden in his careful hands. You would say it broke your heart, but it was already shattered, left and abandoned on the marble floor, unfixable, irreversible.

"Harrison," you came over to him. It was nearly one A.M.. You'd been meaning to talk to him that entire night, called him to make sure he was home early. He wasn't. You'd heard from a mutual friend that he was seen out with another woman, seen leaving a restaurant and a bar with her. Seen leaving her house hours later. Her roommate had told you, too, that Harrison's alibi didn't check out, that she knew he'd been there. The lingering senses of him were still there, and she hated it just as much as you did. "Talk to me, please."

"About what?" He looked up, almost angrily. Not at you, no, but maybe just at the fact that he didn't want to suspect you knew about his whereabouts for the last month.

"I've- i've just... been worried, that's all."

"Don't be.."

"It's half past one! In the morning! Of course I'm going to be worried."

"Well, then you're worried for nothing, babe."

You looked up, face fuming, heart clenching, brain thundering. "Don't- don't call me that." You spat out at him and he gasped, looking at you.

"What? Why not? I always call you that."

"That was before I found out you were seeing somebody."

His mouth ran dry. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up straight as he realized he'd been caught red handed by the person who loved him most, by the person he promised to love most. He swallowed dryly, tongue popping out to lick his lips.

"You're cheating on me," you repeated it differently, crying in the process. He flared his nostrils. He was angry, angry that you found out and angry that you didn't bother to ask before deciding that you knew.

You were angry that he wasn't angry at himself. Angry that he didn't even feel sorry, and angry because you knew he'd never care until things were dispersed, until the actual threat of losing you became reality.

"You're cheating and you don't even feel fucking guilty."

"You don't know what I feel!"

You gasped before matching his tone, his level. "I know you stopped caring!" You stepped forward, angry crying as you hit his chest over and over with a closed fist, frustrated. "You stopped loving me and you promised- you promised you'd love me. You abandoned me!"

"I'm still here, aren't I?" He fumed at you, enraged that you were even talking about this in such a way.

You backed away, sniffling. It was only then that you'd realized he was crying too.

"It's not the same-"

"What does that mean?"

"You're not the same person you were before!" You tried not to scream, tried to lower your voice and keep your calm. But it was hard when the person you trusted most in the world had betrayed you and double crossed your heart.

"You don't even have proof."

You clenched your jaw. "Fuck that, Harrison. We both know I talked to her roommate. You're not getting out of this on a technicality."

"I'm not trying to get out of anything!"
"Yeah well I am!"

His head snapped forward, eyes fixed on your figure. "What does that mean?"

"I think you should leave."

"What does that mean?" he repeated, voice harsher.

"I'm breaking up with you!" You tried to breathe between sobs. "I'm ending this because you're horrible- you- you're," You were hitting his chest again, weak at the knees and broken in the heart. He grabbed both of your hands, holding them against his chest to stop you. Eye contact was stiff but hard, his tears blurring his vision. "You're a horrible human being," you shook your head at him, slipping your hand away, retracting yourself from him even though he tried to pull you back. "You're a horrible person and this changes everything."

You tripped as you walked backwards, nearly falling over. He was moving to catch you but you didn't need him. You caught yourself, standing upright, grabbing your coat and keys before running out of the house.

He watched you leave, standing in the doorway as you cried in the driver's seat of your Subaru. In the dead of the night, you heard the door slam, and even as you picked up speed to whichever friend's house you'd crash, you knew this feeling wouldn't be temporary. You'd never felt this harshly before, never felt so broke in your life. Despite that, you knew one thing for certain:

That this was irreversible.