Eccedentesiast

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Dadirri- A deep, spiritual act of reflecting and respectful listening or communion with life.

•••

K A S H T O N
(Of Chapter Eleven)

With mom at work and wherever the hell Lewis is, I'm left with the responsibility of getting Kate and Sawyer to school. I'm happy for mom that she finally got herself a job, but Lewis makes me frustrated that he'll just get up and leave for days at a time. But I'm really not any better. He's the one that usually takes the kids because mom doesn't want me to be late but I could care less about being late for school. I think about just skipping and going to the gym but I know Carter would kick me out probably saying something like, 'Boy, I thought I told you not to come here during school hours.'

After the kids are ready and they've had some breakfast, we're on the road. I drop Sawyer off at the middle school first before dropping Kate off at the elementary.

•••

I get to History earlier than needed, but I slump in the chair at the back of the room and continue the argument I'm currently having with Lewis. Kids quickly fill the classroom, trining the silent room into a room brimming with chatter.

Vayda calls my name and I quickly finish reading the last text from Lewis before looking up at her. A brunette guy stands next to her, his green eyes narrow at me as Vayda introduces the two of us. I resist to roll my eyes at the new dude that everyone has been talking about. He doesn't even know me.

The teacher stands up and grumbles something but I continue to message Lewis, he says he's staying away for a while but won't even give me a reason why rather he can do anything he wants since he's an adult.

I listen into the conversation next to me when I hear b.b. Say something to Vayda. "Oh no, what did you do to your wrist?" Vayda presses her lips together and looks away. She pulls up the sleeve of her hoodie and hides her hands underneath her. "Got nothing to say? Harming yourself for attention is not cool Vayda." b.b. Practically yells. My hand tightens its hold on the phone and I force myself to look away so I don't say something I might regret. "You just want everyone to feel bad for you, is that what you want?"

Both Logan and I scoff, don't say anything. I haven't known Vayda for long but I do know that she wouldn't do anything for attention, and she hates more than anything when it's on her. "Like you're one to talk about seeking attention."

I look at Vayda and I can automatically tell something is off. She grips the sides of her chair tightly as her lips move a little like she's talking to herself. Her face looks pale and her eyes are wide when she stands up. Vayda grabs the edge of her desk to keep her standing up straight. Logan questions her, asking if she's okay but she doesn't respond as she makes her way out of the room in a rush.

I tell you, I would never hit a girl but I wanted more than anything to smack that stupid grin off of b.b.s face, along with everyone else who is in the room watching with amusement at that moment. "Show's over guys," I grit out and that was enough for everyone to look away as I stand up and walk out.

I turn my head from side to side, trying to see where Vayda would've gone. My guess is she would've gone to the bathroom but on my way there I find her leaned against the lockers. My frown deepens as I watch the tears fall down her face and her breathing pick up. I slowly walk towards her, not sure what the best way to approach is. "Vayda," I lay my hand down on her shoulder but she flinches and jerks away.

"Leave me alone!" she backs up a few steps. "D-don't come near me! Just l-leave me... just leave me here..." her voice cracks as she slides down the wall and brings her knees to her chest. She mutters something to herself that I can't understand as she continues to cry.

I take a seat in front of her and reach for her hands, pulling them away so she's not digging into her arms. I rub my thumb gently over her hands trying to calm her down in any way I can. She shakes her head repeatedly pulling her hands back slightly but not enough for them to leave mine.

I begin to worry a little more when her face continues to pale into a whiter shade and when it seems she's having trouble breathing. Afraid she's going to pass out, I start talking to her, "Vayda I need you to focus on your breathing," I tell her gently. "In and out, take your time, I'm right here with you."

She squeezes my hands tightly and my heart clenches for her when she mumbles out, "I-it hurts."

"I know, it's okay to cry though, sometimes you just need to let it all out. Just know you're not alone," I try to reassure her. Trying to think of something I can do to help her, an idea comes to mind. "Vayda, I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer them." Instead of a response, she closes her eyes and learns her head back against the lockers. "Where are we at?"

I slightly smile when she answers, "S-school."

"Good, what class did you just come from?"

"History," she lets out a shuddery breath.

"Okay what color is your shirt?"

She looks down, "Blue."

I continue to ask her the simple questions till she's calmed down completely. The questioning is something I remember dad doing to mom when she had her panic attacks, and it always seemed to help her. Dad said that it would distract her and keep her focused on something else and I'm just grateful it worked.

I let go of her hands and shift over so I'm on the side of her and she surprises me when she lays her head on my shoulder, but I wrap my arm around her and rub hers soothingly.

"Hey!" I look up at Logan as he comes towards us. "What the hell did you do to her?"

I get up to my feet and hold my hands up in surrender, "I didn't do anything to her."

"Uh-huh, just do us both a favor and stay away from her, yeah?" Confused on why he is accusing me when he was in the class with us, and what he is to Vayda, I want to argue back but I don't.

I look back at Vayda, the two obviously have some sort of bond, so knowing she's in good hands, I give her one last glance before walking away.