Eccedentesiast

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Cingulomania- A strong desire to hold a person in your arms.

•••

When I wake up, my whole body is stiff as I refuse to let myself look around- let alone move around. Yes, I know where I am, but I pray that it's just some bizarre dream that I'm having.

Though, I know this is not a dream and I don't know how I should feel about it.

No matter how I feel I can't help but be relieved that I'm away from my family. I would rather be anywhere else in the world at the moment even if that means being in Kash's house.

In Kash's room.

I groan, covering my face with the blanket that I'm currently tangled up in. I don't know what's more mortifying, Kash seeing me in such a vulnerable state or the fact that I just woke up in his bed. Either way, Kash is the source of my embarrassment and I'm not ready to face him. So that's why I try my best to pretend I'm still asleep when I hear the door slowly creak open and when I feel the bed dip besides me.

"I know you're awake Vayda," his amusement doesn't do anything to help, only makes my cheeks redder than they already are and makes me wish I could climb into a hole and never come out.

"Hi," I squeak out, only letting my eyes poke out from under the blanket.

"Hi," he chuckles, setting something down in front of me before pulling the blanket away from the rest of my face. "I brought you something to eat, I figured you might be hungry."

I don't know if I should be thankful or if I should be mad at him. The gesture just being an act of kindness or an act of pity is something I can't figure out. Whatever it is, after all he's done for me I shouldn't be a bitch about it, though I can't help but be annoyed if it is the latter.

I clear my throat, sitting up to somewhat match Kash's position. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to."

He hands me the plate and this time I can't keep the soft smile off my face. "Thank you," I look from the food to Kash, wondering why he's not eating. My stomach twists, knowing eating in front of him alone might be an issue. I change the subject instead of bringing it up. "How long was I out?"

"Few hours," he shrugs, bringing out his phone to check the time. "It's 8:27 now."

My eyes widen. I don't know what time I was when I left Mom's house, but I do know Kash is right when he says I've been asleep for a few hours. "I'm so sorry," I shift my gaze around the room. "For... for everything. To say I'm embarrassed is an understatement. I really shouldn't have called you, I didn't mean to bring you into my problems, especially when they're just dumb little things-" I move the food to the little side table, the anxious feeling not wanting to have it by me at the moment. "-dammit, I spilled everything out to you didn't I? I'm really sorry, you probably think I'm so stupid. A-and, I didn't mean to fall asleep, I'm sorry for taking your bed. Yep, you probably think I'm insane-"

"Hey," Kash hesitates as he moves to my side, intertwining his hand with mine. I freeze, and only then do I realize I  have been digging into my skin. "You have nothing to apologize for. Just breathe," his voice probably the softest I've ever heard it. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about either. I told you earlier I'm glad you called and talked to me. I'm glad you trust me enough to do so. Vay, no matter what you think, I really do care for you and I want to be there for you."

He squeezes my hand and I feel myself relaxing into him just the smallest bit. "As for falling asleep, I'm glad you got the rest you needed. I apologize if being in here made you uncomfortable, I just didn't want to leave you in the car or wake you up."

I don't know what to say. But I need to say something, because he has nothing to apologize for, he needs to know that. He was just trying to help me. I look down at our intertwined hands, the tip of my finger trancing random patterns on the back of his. I don't know why I don't bother to pull away. I guess I'm still tired.

"I'm coming in, you guys arent naked right?" The familiar voice speaks from the other side of the door. "Because as much as I support the idea of you two dropping down and getting it, I would rather not walk in on the process. I mean this is my sister and best friend we're talking about, ew- Logan are you eavesdropping?"

The door opens and Logan stumbles in a few steps, Porter following in after him. Logan straightens up and smacks Porter on the back of his head, trying to distract us all from his red face. "Ow, what the hell-"

"You ruined their moment idiot."

I finally unfreeze, releasing Kash's hand and scooting away from him.

"I did? Oh shit my bad."

"What are you guys doing here?" I swear these two always pop up like damn daisies at the worst moment's possible.

"Well Kashy over here told us that he would bring you over to my place, and when he never did we came to check and make sure nothing was going on." Porter rambles, plopping down on the bed with us. "Lucky for us, the front door was open."

"I told you guys that I would let you know when we were ready." Kash rolls his eyes, moving away the plate of food when Porter tries to steal something off of it.

"Yeah, well, party starts at nine, takes fifteen minutes to get there and we're already going to be late. Time to hustle."    

"But-"

"No buts lover boy," Porter winks. "I promise you'll get your alone time with DV later, but seriously, we gotta get movin'."

"We'll be down in a minute," still no one moves. Kash stands, waving his hand. "Get out of here you two."

Porter groans, lifting himself off the bed and out the door with Logan as he mutters about something not being fair.

Kash sighs when the door shuts, running a hand through his hair and down his face. "Are you sure you still want to go? Because I can get those two out of here and we can do something else."

"I want to go," he frowns at my words, but tries to hide it. "You'll still go with me, right?"

"If that's what you want," Kash hands me the plate of food once again. "Eat something before we go, please. I'm going downstairs, the bathroom is through that door. Let me know if you need anything. And I'm serious Vayda, it's not a big deal if you decide you don't want to go."

I stay quiet, and he takes my silence as his que to leave. It's not until he's slipping out the door, I speak my mind.

"Thank you Kash, for everything."

His lips form into a small smile, I can't help to mirror it. "Anything for you, Vayda."

•••

Well would you look at that, I'm alive. I don't really have an excuse, sorry for being absent for so long. I hope everyone's doing okay <3

-Pasliee 💕