𝘋𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 ~ 𝘘𝘶𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘹 𝘖𝘊

Chapter 17

TW: MENTIONS OF VOMITTING, ED, GUNS, DEPRESSION

17. Lonely

Everyday since it happened has been the same.

Wake up

Cry

Eat

Throw it up

Have Elias and Thalia come check on her

Cry

Lay in bed crying

Cry some more

Struggle to fall asleep

Cry herself to sleep

Wake up to horrific nightmares

Everyday. Over and over again. It felt like she had lived this day over and over for months. In reality it had only been a week. A week since she saw him. How devastated he looked. She let him down. She let herself down and she hated herself for it. She wished she could go back to that day and change it all. She missed him a lot.

Her mother had been painfully quiet. She got what she wanted so she mostly left Reya alone. Of course she wasn't being nice about it. When she did she Reya she'd find something to pick on, something to point out. Whether it would be about Reya herself or how she was acting. She'd make some claim Reya was misbehaving and being disrespectful. Just so she could hit her without feeling guilty. She should feel guilty. But she was insane. She didn't know what guilt was.

Today was no different than the others.

Reya woke up in a puddle of her own tears around 11:37am. Immediately her first thought was Alex. He was always her first thought after waking up and her last thought before going to sleep. Her mind raced to replay all the bad thoughts. She didn't have to look in the mirror to see she was crying already. The tears roller down her cheeks, enflaming them a bright shade of red. Her eyes were bloodshot as they normally were and the bags under her eyes were a deep purple. She laid in her bed for roughly 30 minutes before getting a small burst of strength to push herself to the bathroom.

She refused to look in the mirror. She didn't want to be reminded of how horrible she looked. The sad girl took it upon herself to cover up the large mirror with a towel. That way she could look around without staring down her ghostly reflection. The room was a mess, piles of clothes were slowly growing from when she'd peel them off her body after wearing them in the shower. Packets of aspirin were left open on the counter for her headaches.

She walked up towards the sink looking down into the base of the bowl. She could slightly see her reflection at the bottom. She quickly stepped back, taking in the view of her pale face was too much. She closed her eyes briefly picking up one of the packets as her head started to pound. She took one of the small white tablets, putting it in her mouth before tipping her head back and swallowing. Her knees buckled and she slowly made her way to sit on the bathroom floor. Her eyes still closed.

She sat there for a while just to make sure she wouldn't throw the tablet back up. Her tears had dried on her skin.

Eventually she got up off the floor, heading back to her equally as messy room. The smallish room was dimmed as the curtains was pulled shut. Her bed wasn't made, the bedding thrown off the side and put into a bundle. Hoodies hanging of the edge and on the back of her chair. Her pc was untouched, the same way it had been for weeks. Her phone was something around, probably under all the mess. However she made no attempt to find it and check what's going on in the outside world.

She stumbled into her bed, dragging the covers over her head as she curled into her little ball of safety. She was exhausted but didn't want to sleep. The nightmares were enough to scare her out of sleep. So instead she lay there for hours. She tried to keep her mind of Alex but failed miserably. She spent her time crying silently into her pillow.