Finally Free - Charlie Gillespie

Chapter Sixty-four

Kenedi
"Jeremy and Owen asked Kenny and I if we could go camping this weekend as like a little getaway before the wedding starts getting intense."

"That sounds like fun! You should go." I gently run my fingers through his hair and kiss his head as he lays his head on my chest.

"I don't really want to go."

"What? Why? You love camping and anything involving nature."

"But I'll miss you." He pouts up at me. I giggle pecking his lips.

"And I'll miss you too, but we can still text and FaceTime. Whenever you want, just call me and I'll answer." He sighs.

"Promise?"

"I promise." He sighs laying back down on my chest. I rest my chin on top of his head frowning slightly. I wish I could just stop thinking about it, but I can't.

"You can ask me you know."

"What?"

"I know you've been wanting to ask me since it happened." I bite my lip not sure if I'm ready to talk about it. I want to know, but at the same time I don't.

"Ask you what?" He sighs looking up to me.

"Why I kissed her." I quickly look away holding my breath. "Kenedi....baby look at me."

"I don't want to know." My voice cracks.

"I know you do, you're just too scared to ask it. Or you're too scared of the answer. Whatever your reason is, we still need to talk about it and I will still love you no matter what you think." I don't say anything closing my eyes. "Can we please talk about this?"

"I don't think we need to."

"I know we do. Colin said we do too." I look down at him sniffling quietly.

"You talked to him?"

"I've still been seeing him every day. Even on the weekends. He helped me not do anything too stupid for that week." I wish I had someone to keep me from doing stupid things then too. Sofia and I barely talked after I said I was leaving. "He also told me that you haven't been joining the zoom meetings." Fuck.

"I'm okay. I promise."

"Kenedi."

"Charlie."

"Don't you think I know you well enough by now to know that you're not really okay?" I shrug. He has a point. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know me. "I know you, sunshine. And I know you're not okay so please just talk to me."

"Why did you kiss her?" I look into his eyes struggling to hold back my tears. He gently wipes them away smiling sadly.

"Do you want the truth?" I nod sniffling. I'll be okay. I'm just slowly breaking on the inside, but I'll be okay. "I honestly don't know why. I know that's a shitty answer and it's not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth."

"Oh." Maybe that's a good answer...? How is that a good answer, Kenedi? Because it didn't mean anything to him. But he still hurt you and kissed your best friend. But he loves me and wouldn't do it again.

"I also just wanted to hurt you. I wish I could take it back. I would do anything to take it back."

"But like...do you think she's pretty?"

"Of course I do. She's beautiful inside and out, but she's like a sister to me. And before you ask, I think the same thing about Heer." I nod feeling a little better now.

"Do you...like them?"

"I love them like I love my sister. They will be my sister-in-laws once we get married." I smile lightly at the thought then sigh shakily. I hate that I'm so insecure. I hate that I compare myself to my best friends, but seeing the man you love kissing them will do that to you I guess.

"Have you...have you ever like...thought about Sofia?"

"Thought about her?"

"Like...sexually?" I cringe as soon as the word leaves my mouth. He moves to where he's straddling my lap. He holds both of my hands to his chest.

"I can honestly say with my whole heart that I haven't thought about anyone other than you that way."

"No one?"

"No one. It always just felt weird to think about anyone that way until I met you, Kenedi." I smile lightly hearing just how honest he's being.

"What about Savannah? Or Heer? Or-"

"No one, baby. No one other than you."

"Really?" He smiles lightly seeing my smile. He pecks my lips then kisses my nose.

"Really." I giggle trying to push him away. His grip on my wrists tightens as he moves my hands above his head. I gasp quietly as he leans down and kisses the corner of my mouth. "You're the only person I want. The only person I need."

He softly kisses my cheek. It feels like I can barely breathe. He softly bites my neck, lips lingering for a second before he slowly drags them to under my ear.

"You're beautiful." I whimper quietly trying to pull my hands from his hold. He tightens his grip slowly moving his free hand down my neck. "But you don't listen very well."

"Then make me." It comes out a breathless whisper, but he still hears it. I know by the look on his face that he heard it.

Selfishly, I don't want him to go camping because that means a whole weekend without this. I went a whole week without even seeing him and I'm not ready to go any longer without him, but he should go. He should spend time with his friends.

I'll just have a girls weekend while he's gone.

"You might want to take that back." I smirk up at him.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because god knows I can't control myself when you say that." I lean up whispering into his ear.

"Then lose control." His breathing comes out harsher letting me know what exactly I'm getting myself into and all I can say is I'm fucking ready.

He pushes me back against the pillow gently holding my throat. I can tell he's holding back. I can't stand that. I hate it.

"Are you going to treat me like a baby or are you going to fuck me like you mean it?" He smirks licking his lips. He grip tightens on my throat. I hum tilting my head back.

"Patience is a thing, princess." Fuck, princess is my weakness and he knows that. He doesn't call me princess very often, but when he does, he knows I'll do anything he asks me. "One more thing." I whine impatiently.

"What now?"

"Will you start going to therapy again? With me at least?"

"Once the wedding gets closer, I won't be able to go as often."

"Oh I know. Colin and I already talked about that and it's okay as long as you promise to talk to someone if you need to." God I love him.

"I promise. Either Sofia or Heer will be with me the whole time so I'll be okay."

"Good. Now where were we?" I giggle biting my lip.

Three weeks and two days.