Finally Free - Charlie Gillespie

Chapter Thirty-five

Kenedi
I walk around the streets of Canada feeling even worse than before. I shouldn't have left him. I really wish I hadn't, but I have to do what's best for him.

I look at the Orpheum sign and blink back tears as the memories start flashing before my eyes.

"Sunshine, what's wrong?"

"I can't do this anymore." He immediately stands up holding his breath.

"You can't do what anymore?" He takes my silence as an answer, his eyes welling with tears. "Did I do something?" His voice breaks.

I wish I could just reach over and wipe away all his tears, but I can't. I have to be strong.

"No. You didn't do anything I just..." I don't know what to say.

"You don't love me." I watch him building the walls around his heart again. This isn't what I want. This is the opposite of what I want.

"I am so sorry, Charlie." He fake smiles shattering my heart.

"No it's fine. I'm not surprised." What is that supposed to mean?

"We can still be friends." I attempt to smile. I hate myself. He nods struggling to hold it together.

"Friends."

I kick the snow bank watching the powder fly in the air. I did this for him. It's tearing me apart, but I did this for him.

My phone starts vibrating and I pull it out sniffling. I close my eyes trying not to break down seeing it's Abbey calling. I hesitantly click accept clearing my throat.

"Hello?"

"Hey! Are you busy?"

"Not really. I'm just walking around town."

"Okay well I was thinking. What if you and Charlie bake your wedding cake together?"

All the air leaves my lungs. I can't breathe. I can't move.

"C-can we not...talk about that?" My voice cracks and I hear some shuffling on the other end of the line.

"Do you need me to get Sofia to call you?" I wipe my nose sniffling.

"No no I'll be okay. Do you need anything else?" She stays silent for a few seconds then says softly.

"You'll be okay, Kenedi. I love you." I can't even hear those three words without wanting to bury myself.

"I love you too." I slowly sit down on a bench watching kids skate across a frozen lake.

"Call me if you need anything okay?" I sniffle feeling grateful I have friends to rely on.

"Thank you. I think I just...need some space to process everything."

"Okay, Kenz. But please don't hesitate to talk to me."

"I won't." I smile lightly knowing that it hurts like hell now, but it'll be okay. I hang up and look at my background. I don't even realize I'm crying over the picture of us until the first tear rolls down my cheek.

How am I supposed to move on when everything comes back to him?

I slowly start walking back to the apartment hoping I've given him enough space because I'm too cold to keep walking. I plug in my earbuds and listen to Driver's License on repeat the whole way back.

I hesitantly walk into the apartment looking around for Charlie. I hang up my coat and take off my boots then walk back to our bedroom. I smile lightly seeing he's playing video games.

I walk back out to the living room and sigh shakily hesitantly calling Sofia.

"Bitch why did Abbey text me asking if you were okay?" I laugh quietly already feeling better just talking to her.

"I'm okay." I pick at my jeans telling myself that I'm okay.

"Kenedi...what happened?" The softness of her voice makes me want to cry again.

"I broke up with Charlie, but it's okay. We're still friends." I swallow hard trying to remain calm.

"WHAT?!"

"Owen, no!" I hear some rustling and then Owen's voice again.

"What the fuck, Kenz? Why did you break up with him?! Did he do something?" I close my eyes trying to steady my breath. I'd rather everyone hate me than him.

"No he didn't do anything. I just...I don't love him." I feel like vomiting. I have never told a lie that big.

"You agreed to marry him. You agreed to have a family with him. You tried to get him to have sex with you. You met his family...and you don't love him." I can hear the judgement in his voice even though he's trying to hide it.

"I guess I just liked the attention he gave me." I hold my phone away from me so he can't hear me sniffling quietly.

"Wow. I didn't think you were like that." I close my eyes feeling the tears starting to form again. I knew I'd lose my friends, but I wasn't prepared for it.

"Owen-" He interrupts me breaking my heart.

"I think the fame has gone a little to your head, Kenedi. The Kenedi I know would never do this to someone." I swallow hard taking in his words.

"Owen, stop."

"No, Sofia. This isn't your best friend. She's someone we don't know." When Sofia doesn't respond, I feel my heart being ripped out of my chest.

Losing the love of your life and your two best friends in one day will do that to a person.

"I'm sorry, Owen." My voice cracks. I can't see him, but I know he rolled his eyes. A few seconds later, I hear a door slam.

"Why did you really break up with him, Kenz?" Sometimes I hate that she knows me too well.

"Like I said earlier. I don't-"

"Cut the bullshit. You know I can tell when you're lying so tell me the truth right now." I stare at my ring finger trying to picture what it would have looked like to have a ring on it.

"He deserves better than me, Sof." I hear her sigh shakily. "He deserves someone that doesn't come with as much baggage as I do. He deserves someone that's not me."

"Kenedi, you can't tell your heart not to love someone. He can't tell himself not to love you." I swallow hard trying to keep my stomach calm.

"Well...now he needs to so he can move on."