Finally Free - Charlie Gillespie

Chapter Thirty-six

Charlie
I've stayed at my mom's the last four days. I just needed some space from Kenedi so that I can try to move on, but nothing worked. While I was at my mom's, I got the engagement ring.

I haven't been able to get rid of it because I don't want to admit that we're really over. I'm not surprised though. She deserves a lot better than me. She always will.

I sigh shakily before walking into the apartment. It's nice to be home again, but I don't know how I'll be able to live with her and not kiss her. Or hug her. Or tell her I love her. Or do literally anything I've been wanting to do.

"Yeah I know, mom." I smile lightly at her then raise my eyebrows hearing her say mom. I never thought she would talk to her again. I thought she was cutting that bitch out of her life. "I know. I'll keep you updated okay?"

She waves at me and I wave back still confused. Shadow runs over to me and I kneel down petting her. At least I still have her.

"Mom, I told you I'm trying to lose the weight. Please don't keep mentioning it." I frown slightly hearing her say that. She doesn't need to lose weight. She's beautiful the way she is.

Charlie, stop. No. You can't think things like that. I mouth to her to put it on speaker and I'll stay quiet. She hesitates then puts it on speaker.

"I only bring it up because you're in the public eye now. You need to always look your best and looking like you're pregnant isn't looking your best." She closes her eyes obviously hurt by her words.

"I'm not pregnant."

"I know you aren't, but looking like it will only cause negative attention." I start to say something then stop realizing it isn't my place to stand up for her anymore. "But onto other news. I told you that breaking up with Charlie would be the best thing for the both of you."

I look back down at Shadow swallowing hard. Is her mom why she decided she doesn't love me anymore? Is that why she broke up with me?

"Mom, I told you I don't want to talk about it."

"You may not, but I do. Are you still living with him?"

"Yes."

"Are you still having sex?"

"We never had sex, mom." She says quietly. Maybe if I had just done it, she wouldn't have left me. Maybe she'd still love me.

"You don't have to lie to me, honey. You know how I feel about premarital sex, but you also know how I feel about you."

"I know."

"Has twitter deactivated those accounts about you yet?" I look up to her quickly confused. She quickly takes her phone off of speaker in tears.

"No." I need her to get off the phone now because what? What accounts? "Twitter said they didn't break any of their rules."

I sigh shakily hesitantly taking Shadow out. While she's running around chasing a butterfly, I pull out my phone and look up Kenedi Lowe on twitter trying to see if I can find whatever accounts she was talking about.

The first three that catch my attention are beyond horrible. All three of them point out any flaw in her they can find and they also say she doesn't deserve me. What the fuck?

As soon as Shadow walks back over to me, I let her back inside then follow her in. Kenedi hangs up the phone smiling weakly at me.

"Hey." I sit down in front of her on the coffee table and gently hold her hands trying to ignore the spark I feel from her touch.

"Why did you tell me about the accounts?" Her eyes fill with tears and her bottom lip quivers. "Hey. Hey." I gently wipe away her tears and pull her into my chest just holding her.

She immediately starts sobbing breaking my heart all over again.

"Why can't I just look like her?" She says through her sobs. I feel the tears forming and swallow down the lump in my throat.

"Because you aren't Sofia, Kenedi. You're Kenedi. And that in itself is more than enough."

"If it's enough, why do people literally hate me?" I wish I knew what I could say that would actually help her.

"Because people are assholes and will always hate people living the life they wish they could have. You should let those haters be the reason why you push yourself to be better."

She sniffles quietly slowly calming down. She move to where her head on is on my chest listening to my heartbeat. I feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. This is the first time I've touched her in almost a week.

"When did you start talking to your mom again?" She sniffles quietly.

"She texted me about a week and a half ago apologizing. She said she loves and misses me so we've been talking a little bit since then. We were on the phone for four hours yesterday. It was like things were before my parents divorce."

"Today she didn't sound too nice though."

"I know." She sighs. "I don't know what happened. She like changed over night and I hate it. Yesterday all she wanted to talk about was if I was okay because someone told her about the twitter accounts."

"Why didn't you tell me about them?" She shrugs.

"It's embarrassing."

"We all have hate accounts, sunshine." I cringe slightly. It slipped out. I feel her smile against my chest and hope that means there might still be hope for us.

"I'm sorry for not telling you, baby."

"It's okay, sunshine. But we're friends. From now on I want you to tell me everything." If I didn't know better, I'd say she deflated when I said the word friends.

"Thank you. For always being there for me."

"I'll always be here for you. No matter what. You just have to let me in."

"Shadow missed you a lot." I smile lightly looking over at Shadow.

"I missed her a lot too. And I missed you." I hold my breath wishing I hadn't said that out loud.

"I missed you too. More than you'll ever know." I smile lightly down at her and hesitantly kiss her head.

Savannah told me love is worth fighting for. I told her that Kenedi is worth fighting for and I'll keep fighting for her as long as I think there's any chance for us.

Maybe I should just slow down and she'll want me again.