Finally Free - Charlie Gillespie

Chapter Sixty-two

Owen
My heart races out of my chest. Did she really just say that or am I imagining things?

"You're a great guy and I just wish you could see that."

"If I was a great guy, I would've handled everything differently." I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Great guys have their fair share of bad decisions, Owen. That doesn't make you any less of an amazing person." I look down in tears feeling bad. All those hookups feel like cheating now. "Please don't be sad."

"It's kinda hard not to be." I sniffle wiping my eyes.

"Have you been going to therapy?" I shake my head no. "When's the last time you went?"

"Before I read the letter." She sighs shakily.

"I think you should go again okay?"

"Every time I go, I think about you." I hesitantly look up to her. She blushes deeply staying silent for a second then whispers softly.

"You think about me?" I should tell her about the other girls. But we're doing so well right now.

"I always think about you, Sofia." There's so many things I want to say right now.

"Then...why haven't you tried to...fix us?" She holds her breath making me smile lightly.

"If I tell you something, you have to listen to me completely, okay?" She nods nervously. I nervously look into her eyes trying to stay calm. "Every night I would go out to a random bar and I'd bring a girl home. Sometimes more than one."

She sink a little into her booth, eyes watering. She starts to pull her hand away from me, but I only hold it tighter. I can't lose her again.

"Every time I did it, I was drunk and I was trying to do something so I wouldn't feel as empty. It was completely stupid and wrong and I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am. If there was anything I could take back, it would be that."

"But you can't take it back." Her voice cracks. I close my eyes knowing I lost her again.

"I'll spend the rest of my life hating myself for what I said and did to you." I feel her hand pull away from mine and I hear her get up. I don't open my eyes knowing I won't be able to survive watching her leave me again.

I lower my head slightly feeling the tears fall down my face. This is the first time I've cried since Heer found me over a week ago and it hurts, but it also kinda feels nice being able to get it out.

A couple seconds later, I feel someone side into the booth next to me. I smell her perfume and the tears only fall harder. She shakily wraps her arms around me making me completely break down. I quietly sob into her shoulder.

"Let it all out, okay? Let it all out." She gently rubs my back. The fact that she's comforting me after what I just told her is proof of how amazing she is.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." I manage to get out in between my sobs.

"Just breathe, okay? Breathe." I slowly match my breathing to her's calming down to hiccups. I can't remember the last time I cried like that. "Good. You're okay." She kisses my temple and I already know that we'll be okay.

"I'm sorry." She pulls me back smiling and wipes away the remainder of my tears.

"Stop apologizing. It's good to get all your feelings out. When was the last time you cried?" I hesitate then say softly.

"When Heer told me about the baby." She sighs shakily and smiles sadly.

"You can't let your feelings bottle up, Ow. You have to let them out, okay?" I nod sighing shakily. I guess here goes nothing.

"I love you."

"W-what?"

"You told me to let my feelings out so that's what I'm doing."

"Owen-"

"No. I need to say this. I need you to know how I actually feel." She sighs shakily and hesitantly nods holding my hands. I smile lightly kissing both of them before speaking again. "I love you, Sofia."

"I know."

"But everything I did was because I love you. I only want what's best for you."

"You're what's best for me."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you can make me happy just by smiling. You make me believe in love. You make me want to fight just to live to see another day." I smile lightly.

"But you're only eighteen and you left high school early. You left your family. I got you pregnant."

"I may only be eighteen, but I finished high school four months early. I needed to leave my family for a long time and you and Kenedi gave me a reason to finally leave. And...is there really something wrong with me being pregnant?"

"No no no! That's not what I meant! At all. It's just...it feels like all I've done is ruin you since we met."

"You've done the complete opposite, Ow. I want to have a family with you. I want to be the mom I never had. You want a family too. Why should we let what other people think affect our lives?"

"We shouldn't."

"Then why have you?"

"Because I was stupid." She laughs lightly wiping away her tears. "I just want you to have a good life even if that means it's without me." She gently cups my cheek.

"My life without you could never be good. It wasn't good before you and I know for sure that if you were to ever leave my life, it would be hell."

"I don't want to be out of your life, princess." She giggles quietly pressing her forehead against mine. I hesitantly kiss her nose and smile seeing she doesn't pull away from me. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry for my mom trying to ruin our life. Please just don't listen to her."

"I won't. I've learned my lesson."

"Good." She giggles. "But the first thing we should do is figure out how to save Chenedi." I scrunch my nose.

"They have a god awful ship name."

"Oh it's just as bad as ours."

"What is ours?"

"Sowen."

"Jesus why do we have such horrible names."

"I wish I knew, babe. I wish I knew." She laughs as I just smile at her.

Now that I have her back, I'm never letting her go again. I can't wait to have her in my life forever and I know how and when I'm going to do it.