Finally Free - Charlie Gillespie

Chapter Seventy-eight

Kenedi
"It's nice to have you back, Kenedi." I smile tightly holding Charlie's hand tighter. It's my first day back to therapy and to say I'm nervous is an understatement.

"It's nice to see you again, Colin."

"I heard you two had some troubles."

"We did-"

"But we worked through it and we're better than ever now." Why did Charlie cut me off? Does he not want Colin to know he's still struggling.

"And you feel the same, Kenedi?" I watch Charlie's shoulders tense as I chew my lip.

"No." I hesitate over my next few words. I don't want to upset Charlie, but at the same time, I need to say something. "I don't know what he's told you, but we got in a fight and some words were said that we can't take back."

"Hurtful words?" I nod swallowing hard.

"It was brought to my attention recently that Charlie has been hurting a lot more than any of us realized."

"That's not true. I'm fine."

"No you're not and baby, that's okay. It's okay to not be okay. You told me that yourself."

"I'm fine." I close my eyes knowing he's closing off again.

"Why do you say he's not okay, Kenedi?" I silently beg him not to make me say it in front of Charlie, but he gives me no choice. I guess I'd rather have Charlie mad at me and possibly even hate me versus losing him forever.

"I was told that Charlie had self harmed and he doesn't feel like I love him." Colin leans back in his chair as Charlie shakes my hand away.

"I didn't self harm and it sure doesn't feel like you love me right now." I look at him in tears. He can't be serious.

"You did and I'm doing this because I love you. We need help, Charlie."

"You. You need help. Not me. You're the one with stitches in their thighs because you're the one who only feels okay after causing yourself pain."

"Charlie." I hold my breath moving away from him on the couch. That really hurt. "We don't invalidate people's feelings here."

"It's the truth, Colin. Have her pull her pants down. I don't even have to ask for her to do it." Colin sighs handing me a box of tissues. I hide my face in one glad that I didn't wear any makeup today.

"I know you're upset, but taking your feelings out on other people won't get you anywhere."

"I'm fine."

"Even after how you just hurt Kenedi, you still think you're fine?" He doesn't respond for a few seconds.

"I'm fine. We're fine. We're here so she can get the help she needs."

"You do know that it's okay to need help, right?"

"I don't need help. I'm only here for Kenedi."

"Really? Because it seems like you're throwing her under the bus so we won't talk about you." I wipe my nose shakily then look at him through my tears.

"If you can't talk to me, then you need to talk to Colin. I can't fight for my sobriety when I see how badly you're hurting, Charlie."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not! You kissed Sofia because you wanted to feel loved! I didn't make you feel loved and I still don't make you feel loved! You fucking hurt yourself and you're still denying that you're not okay." He flinches slightly.