Finally Free - Charlie Gillespie

Chapter Seventy-four

Kenedi
"Now that Owen finally left, it's just the two of us." I jump onto the bed next to Sofia smiling at her. She smiles lightly back at me then lays against her pillows.

"Yep." I sigh silently.

"I told you we'd have a night just for ourselves so we can talk through everything. So talk to me."

"I don't even know what to say."

"Yes you do."

"Okay...maybe I do, but I don't know where to begin."

"Just start ranting. I'm a big girl - I'll be okay." She looks at me for a few seconds then sighs.

"You wanted to leave me."

"I didn't want to leave you. I wanted to leave the pain of staying here. I wanted to leave Charlie, but I never, ever wanted to leave you."

"I asked you to stay for me. I told you that we would find our own place away from Charlie and you still wanted to leave."

"I thought it was what was best for me and my baby, Sof. It had nothing to do with you and I am so, so sorry that I hurt you."

"How am I supposed to trust you when I know you could leave me?" I frown deeply.

"You trusted me before all of this happened. So why can't you trust me now?"

"Because it happened and I can't just pretend that it didn't. Then you tried to get married without me there."

"I admit that I've been a really shitty friend recently, but it wasn't because of you."

"You always say that."

"Because it's true. Imagine how I felt. I just found out I was pregnant and that my baby wasn't doing great and then I saw my fiancé kiss my best friend."

"I was pregnant too, Kenedi. And I lost my baby. I also lost my boyfriend after he told me that I was easy. He loved me because of my body. We were both in pain, but I never thought about leaving you. Never."

"You might have lost your baby and you might have lost Owen, but you still had your friends. I didn't. I had nothing."

"You had me." I bite my lip hard knowing that this whole conversation is just making the whole issue even worse. I really fucked up and I don't know how to fix it.

"It didn't feel like I did. I know you didn't kiss him back, but he still kissed you."

"You're really blaming me for something HE did?"

"No! I'm not blaming you for anything!"

"Then what are you trying to say?"

"I don't know, okay? I don't know. But it didn't feel like I had you. I don't even know how to explain what I was feeling, but I knew I needed to leave if I wanted to keep any sanity I had left."

"And you didn't even ask me to move with you."

"Because I knew you wouldn't want to leave Owen."

"We weren't even back together yet."

"Even while you were broken up, there's no way you would have left him. Your heart still belonged to him."

"But your heart didn't belong to Charlie?" I close my eyes feeling the tip of my nose starting to burn. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry tonight. "Why did you even marry him when obviously you don't love him?"

"What? Who said I don't love him?"

"You just did. You said I wouldn't leave Owen because my heart still belonged to him. You almost left Charlie therefore your heart didn't belong to him."