𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝙷𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛[𝙳.𝚆]

025

We got back to the motel with the blood on our faces wiped away so we wouldn't worry Charlie, and I let her know that she was safe now. I had suggested that she stay the night just in case, reassuring her that she could stay in my room, and that I would stay with the boys. So lucky me, I got to stay in Dean's bed for another night.

"Jen, can I talk to you?" Sam asks quietly the next morning after I get out of the shower with fresh clothes on. Looking over at a sleeping Dean, I sigh.

"Outside." I tell Sam, looking back at him. He glances at Dean, then nods. I follow him out the door, closing it behind me quietly, and the two of us stand there awkwardly as we wait for someone to break the ice. "What Mary said is true, Sam." I decide to start. He looks at me in disbelief. I can tell he's been trying to understand what he heard yesterday.

"You were pregnant at one point?" I nod my head 'yes', looking down in shame. "How old were you?"

"Sixteen?" I answer in a questioning voice.

"How could you do that to a baby?" Sam asks, sounding almost hurt. My eyes snap up with anger and disbelief.

He had no right to say that to me.

"I had-!" I stop myself when I notice how loud I'm talking. I look at the window I was standing next to, making sure Dean didn't hear me somehow, and take a deep breath. "I needed too." I hiss, my cold eyes staring into Sam's sad ones.

"Why?" Sam asks, spreading his arms out.

"Because I was raped, okay?" I say icily. Sam's eyes widen and I catch the way his skin turns almost white.

"What?"

"The sex wasn't consensual, Sam. And it wasn't protected either."

"Was it with a stranger?" He asks. I nod. Looking to the side, I humorlessly laugh.

"With another hunter nonetheless." I scoff. When I look back at Sam, he looks almost shattered. "Sam. Please. Don't look at me like that." I groan.

"Why have you never told me?"

"I already told you, Sam. I wanted to leave my past behind me. I've moved on from it." I lie. We fall back into awkward silence and I can tell he's itching to ask me more about it.

Truth is, even after almost ten years, it never stopped hurting. I killed my baby because I couldn't handle it. Hell, I couldn't even fully handle myself. I was a sixteen year old hunter, who had just got impregnated by another hunter, and was at the lowest point in my life. No job. No family. No hope. I couldn't raise a child into the life I lived.

Still can't I imagine, considering I'm back into hunting evil again. But I still think about him. How I'd hold him. Read to him. Play with him. I was always sure it was a boy. Even though it didn't live long enough to have a determined gender, I knew. And my heart felt hollow without him.

"What about your secret? With Jessica?" I ask, clearing my throat. I take notice of how Sam looks down sadly. "Sam, what was Mary talking about when she mentioned your secret?" I question him. He doesn't say anything. "Sam." I warn, putting my hands on my hips. He sighs, hesitantly meeting my gaze.

"I had dreams of Jessica dying before she actually died. I knew she was gonna die." I quirk a brow and look at his features to see if he was lying, but I knew deep down it was true. Mary was right about my secret, why wouldn't she be with Sam's? I didn't get to ask him to elaborate because the motel door whips open suddenly, and Dean's head pops out.

"What are you guys doing out here?" Dean asks, rubbing his eye. His groggy voice and hair, that was sticking up in every direction, made me want to smile. I definitely liked morning Dean. Sam looks back at him, then to me, and I do the same.

"We're just talking." I state simply. Dean looks between the two of us suspiciously.

"Mhmm, is there usually this much tension when the both of you are having a conversation?" He teases, leaning on the door frame, crossing his arms.

"Tension, what tension?" Sam says quickly with a scoff.

"Nice." I drag out, rolling my eyes. "Well, I'm gonna go get Charlie, see if she's awake yet. While I do that, you should hit the shower." I point at Dean, and he pouts. "Aww, stop. You look like a cute puppy when you do that." I chuckle, heading to the room next to theirs.

"I'm not cute." Dean defends. I look over my shoulder and laugh.

"Oh, give me a break, Dean. You're practically a teddy bear in disguise." I tease. Sam chuckles and I smile at the sound as I open my door. Winking at Dean, I step inside my room, leaving him gaping like a fish.

I wondered if Sam would look at me any different, if it really will be tense between the two of us from now on, or if Sam wouldn't want me around him. I mean, I definitely would not take it lightly if I found out my best friend, in this case Sam, was a murderer. He may have had dreams about Jessica dying, which was probably just some weird vivid dream or déjà vu, but he isn't a murderer. I would know.

Charlie was already awake and ready to go like me so all we could do was wait for Dean. After taking his sweet time getting ready, we drove over to Charlie's house to drop her off. I observe the quiet neighborhood as we pull up to her house, and it almost makes me miss my own neighborhood.

Almost.

"So this is really over?" Charlie asks. I look away from the window and smile at her. 

"Yeah, it's over." Dean answers, looking back at her with an arm resting on the leather of his seats. Charlie looks between the three of us then keeps her eyes on me.

"Thank you." She says quietly. Nodding my head, I rest my hand over her own.

"I always keep my promises." I wink. She smiles, opening the Impala's door, and stepping out.

"Charlie?" Sam calls as she walks up to her house. Turning around, she waits patiently for what he has to say.

"Your boyfriend's death...you really should try forgiving yourself. No matter what you did, you probably couldn't have stopped it." Slowly, I look at Sam."Sometimes bad things just happen." Charlie struggles to smile before turning back around to continue her way over towards her doorstep. Dean hits Sam's arm to get his attention.

"That's good advice." He hints. Sam doesn't say anything and just smiles at his brother. Turning on the car, Dean drives away from Charlie's house and starts out of Toledo. "Hey, Sam?" Dean asks after a few silent minutes of driving through the town.

"Yeah?"

"Now that this is all over, I want you to tell me what that secret is." I meet Sam's gaze in the side view mirror and we look at each other for a moment, silently agreeing to not mention either of our secrets to Dean.

"Look...you're my brother. And I'd die for you. But there are some things I need to keep to myself."

"Jennifer?" Dean raises a brow at me. I smile and shake my head.

"I've told you a lot about me already. I think I should be allowed to keep one little secret to myself." His eyes narrow at me through the rear view mirror.

Maybe more than just one.

"It's not little if someone died." Dean points out. My smile turns into a frown and I look out the window, watching the people pass by.

"I'm not ready to tell that story just yet."