Overdose (BXB) Completed/Editing

Chapter 13 - Baby

-Alex-

"Hey bud, are you feeling okay?" My dad peeks his head through my room, allowing the bright light from the hallway to shine on my face. I groan before swiftly throwing the cover over my head.

A week ago, I tore down the wall protecting my darkest secret and spilled them at Nico's feet. Part of me felt relieved to finally tell someone but seeing the look in his eyes made me wish I hadn't. I could tell he didn't know what to say or how to react, but I guess that was better than asking me questions about what happened. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of. Maybe I refused to talk about it for fear that I'd be bombarded with questions.

"Hey, you haven't left your room since you came home from the meeting. Did something happen?" I hear his footsteps inch closer to the bed followed by the sound of the door closing. "No," I mumble under the covers. He sighs softly before taking a seat next to me. "I don't believe that's true." You don't have to because it's not.

"Alex, please talk to me. You haven't eaten and I'm worried," Gently, he pulls the sheet off my head and rests his hand on my shoulder. I was raped, dad. I was raped while the person I thought was the love of my life watched it all unfold and did nothing. I was used and discarded like garbage. I was humiliated, dad. I don't know how to tell you so for now, "I'm fine dad, just tired." My voice is barely audible as I press my cheek to the pillow.

I'm sure Taylor has already taken me off the payroll due to my absence. I didn't call to tell her that I won't be coming in and I haven't shown up in a week. I appreciate that she offered me a job when most employers wouldn't. I've been stuck in this bed since the night Nico brought me home. I only get up to use the bathroom and seek comfort from the contents of my book bag. I've covered all the mirrors because I can't stand to look at how disgusting I am. My hair has matted to the back of my head, my skin is this strange shade of beige with bluish veins peeping out underneath. The skin around my eyes is red and swollen from all the crying. I haven't showered so I probably smell like what death mimics. No mirror should have to bear the sight of me.

Chester is probably worried since I haven't visited him. He might be thinking I'm dead but then again, this isn't the first time I've ghosted him. I wonder if Nico is worried. He might be, given that our last conversation didn't end on a positive note. I told him to stay away from me. When I said it, I thought of how different my life would have been if I dared to say the same thing to Jackson. Not that I truly believe Nico could hurt me but because I don't have it in me to hurt him.

He's lost someone he cared for before and I can't in good conscience let him care for me only for tragedy to show face again. I guess that was my way of preventing history from repeating itself. Still, I fear that regardless of my efforts, history will come back to haunt us.

"Are you hungry? I made breakfast. I have to leave for work soon, but do you want me to stay? We can hang out in the living room...maybe watch a movie? The Grinch use to be your favorite-"

"Dad, please...I just want to be left alone. I'm sorry but I don't have the energy to get up right now. Go to work, there are babies that need saving," I plead softly. He goes silent for a moment, "Okay. I'll see you later. Love you kid," He ruffles my hair before getting up and leaving the room. He closes the door softly which I'm thankful for, everything sounds way too loud.

I remain still for a few minutes as I wait to hear the familiar sound of the front door closing. My dad tends to be unnecessarily noisy in the morning which works in my favor because I always know when he leaves. On days that he's not working, he usually wakes up later and the first thing he does is make coffee. Then, he'll start breakfast while listening to the news. The mornings before we moved here were very different. He'd rush me to get ready for school while I purposely dragged on. Being late was kind of my thing, it showed the teachers just how much I didn't want to be there. If I stayed long enough for senior superlatives, I probably would have gotten 'Most likely to drop out'. Fitting.