Overdose (BXB) Completed/Editing

Chapter 42 - Lightning

Overdose - Chapter 42

-Alex-

Seeing Nico prance around his apartment with nothing on but dangerously low-hanging sweatpants does something to me that I can't rid myself of no matter how hard I try to focus on sketching this stupid fucking tree. Maybe he's doing this on purpose to torture me. Or maybe it's his apartment and he can do whatever he pleases. The tattoos are a perfect contrast against his honey skin. Each time I look at him I find a new piece worth studying.

"Alex, are you sure you're not hungry? I can make you breakfast," He asks while carrying a basket of clothes to the bed. I'm hungry but unfortunately, it's not for food. "I said no like a million times already," My tone came out snappier than I intended it to. I slept here last night...well at least I tried to. I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep because I felt unsettled. Being flustered and tired hasn't helped my mood today and I wonder how long it'll take for me to run and hide.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks with a frown that makes me feel shitty. I set my sketchbook down and turn to him. "I'm sorry, I'm just...I'm not hungry and sketching is proving to be harder than I thought it would." I try to keep my eyes locked on his face, but the rest of his body is so heavily distracting. He's not insanely muscular but he's toned. Despite his honey skin, I can still see the blueish veins on his arms and hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I being too loud?" He asks innocently. No, but you could put a shirt on and jeans. I shake my head no, "It's not you." Instead of lying, why don't you tell him how you feel? Nope. Not gonna happen. He nods and my eyes fall from his face to his chest, then they travel down to his stomach. A few of the tattoos disappear under the waistband of his underwear, they're a brand that I've never seen before. The black elastic band hugs his waist while contrasting with the light gray sweatpants that leave nothing to the imagination.

I swallow the excess moisture in my mouth without thinking and I hear Nico chuckle softly. Shit. My heart drums in my chest as my face warms up significantly. If I could, I would jump out of the window to not feel the embarrassment of getting caught drooling over him. "Are you okay? You're red," he says, trying not to smile. Oh fuck off, Nicholas. I nod, turning my attention back to the half-assed sketch of the stupid tree that I've been working on for two hours.

Nico walks past me to the laundry room, and I peek over my sketchbook. The muscles of his back ripple through his skin as he reaches for the bright green box of fabric softener sheets. His curls bounce with every movement, leaving me to wonder how they would look dangling over my face.

"I got to go...I'll see you later," I grab my bag from the couch and quickly shove my sketchbook and pencil before heading to the door. "Want me to take you home-"

"NO! thank you, I'll be fine." I correct my tone before rushing out like the place caught fire. What is wrong with me?  That must have been confusing for him but not as much as me. Normally, I'm able to contain my thoughts about Nico and me being intimate but lately, they've been derailing at the worst possible times.

Dr. Hayes says though I am traumatized, it is normal to feel sexual attraction for Nico. I spend most of my time in his company and the way he looks is surely not helping my case. She advised that we not rush into things because it could be easy for me to get triggered by sudden sexual advances. Since the last time we tried, there have been close calls, but they always end right about when our clothes should come off. I freeze and he retreats because he doesn't want me to be uncomfortable. He's so calm and understanding but I can only imagine how frustrating it is for him.

I find refuge in the elevator which is a strange thing for me to say. I don't like tight spaces and normally, I'd be stressed about it getting stuck. I take deep breaths to compose myself, but my heart is still racing in my chest. As I step out of the elevator, I almost run into Shelby who is carrying a stack of envelopes. "Watch it!" She scowls.