Overdose (BXB) Completed/Editing

Chapter 15 - Girlfriend

Overdose - Chapter 15 

-Paul-

Yesterday was a disaster. I thought having Rebecca here would make everything feel less crappy, but the complete opposite occurred. She walked out after we talked and I'm not sure if she's going to come back but at this point, I don't think I care. If having her around will prompt another seizure for Alex, she should stay away.

He woke up at three in the morning and said he wasn't feeling well. I called one of the nurses and she stated that he was running a fever. Eventually, he fell asleep again and it was then that I realized that he won't be feeling well anytime soon because he's going through withdrawal. He's gotten used to having alcohol and drugs in his system so now that he doesn't have either, it's natural for his body to crave them.

The room is cold but he's sweating and occasionally, his body shivers. Part of me wants to send him to rehab as soon as they give the okay for him to leave but I know he'd never forgive me. In hindsight, having him hate me for helping would be way better than not having him at all.

The clock on the wall reads 6:32 AM. Usually, the sun would be coming up right about now, but thick gray clouds are brewing with rain in its place. From here, I can see the mountains in the distance. Snow has their peaks frosted in a thick white layer; the trees below are too, generously coated with snow. Winter used to be our favorite season as a family, we'd do the typical winter activities, and I never grew tired of them. I probably made a million cups of hot chocolate, but I enjoyed it more each time than the last. Things have changed and that was not something I was ready for.

"Is she mad at me?" Alex asks, pulling my attention away from the window. I place the magazine down on the food tray and look at him, "No. She's worried about you and she has the right to be," I profess calmly.

He sighs heavily, "There's something wrong with me, Dad. I'm terrified that I'm going to be this way forever and I don't know what to do. I want to tell you what's killing me but it's...I can't..." His voice trembles with frustration and I can tell he's struggling with the decision of telling me or not.

"Alex, you can tell me..." My voice comes out as barely a whisper. He looks at me and shakes his head, "No I can't, I don't even know how I could begin to tell you-"

"Whatever it is son, I'll believe you. Let me be here for you...please" I say trying my best to not let my emotions control my tone. I watch as he looks between me and the door as if hoping someone will come in and interrupt this conversation, saving him from having to tell me. Then, he takes a deep breath in and closes his eyes. I grab his hand and hold it with enough firmness to say that I'm here. I could have told him what the nurses told me. I could have told him that I know what happened to him but there's a lot that he feels is out of his control. I won't take this away from him. This is his moment to tell his truth and though that truth is one that no parent wants to hear, I have to be here for my son. I have to be here because I wasn't after it happened. I have to be here from this point on.

"I-..." He starts but he hesitates.

"I'm here. It's okay, son."

He lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes, "I was raped."

His eyes remain closed, his breathing slows to almost a complete stop, and I can feel his heart thumping against my palm. I close my eyes, breathing in slowly so that my rage doesn't speak for me. This moment is one that I will never forget for as long as I live, and it will also live with Alex forever. It's not just my presence that will make this moment meaningful, it's my response.

I lean down and place a kiss on his head, "Alex, it wasn't your fault. You are not to blame for what happened and I'm so sorry that you had to deal with it on your own." He lets out a choked sob and I pull him into a hug. "I'm so sorry...I didn't know how to tell you," He cries into my chest as his body shakes violently.