Overdose (BXB) Completed/Editing

Chapter 32 - Venus

Overdose - Chapter 32

-Nico-

Trying to get back to "normal" has proven to be an absolute nightmare. The meetings no longer interest me and for the last month, my attendance record has plummeted. I haven't been in my darkroom for two weeks, the prints have probably all faded but that doesn't matter to me as much as it should.

I've made a lot of mistakes that I'm not proud of but hurting Alex; tops the list. Though it was never my intention, it still happened, and I still can't believe how stupid I was to think none of it would matter to him. I came close to telling him a few times, but I somehow convinced myself that because it would never happen again, it was best to keep it to myself. How'd that work out?

Anyway, all of that doesn't matter. Alex made himself clear about what he felt, though it was painful to hear, I deserve it. For a second, I thought the situation could be fixed with just some time apart, but it's been a month of no contact. I've resisted the urge to call him or go see him on so many occasions. He wants nothing to do with me and the least I can do is respect that.

"Sir?" The girl behind the counter asks concernedly. I clear my throat and pocket my thoughts, "Sorry, thank you," I offer her a smile that feels unfamiliar before dropping five dollars in the pink bedazzled tip jar. She wishes me a great day and I nod, knowing that my days have been less than great lately. Every day feels just like the last. I wake up closer to noon, stare around my apartment for inspiration, giving up because nothing comes, and eventually, I'll roll out of bed and come here to get coffee. The rest of the day will either be spent staring at the unfinished board for my photobook or falling asleep on the couch until the sun goes down. And to think this could have been avoided by telling the truth. Except I didn't lie, well not technically, I just withheld information that I now see was extremely important.

The warm summer air is perfect to be outside but that's the last thing I want to do. In the winter, I would use my car to come to the coffee shop because of the cold but since it's summer now, the walk is much more enjoyable. The park is not a far walk either. From the shop, I can see the trees peeking out above a record store that will soon be closing to make way for another high-rise.

I don't remember being a fan of straight black coffee but lately, I've been warming up to the bitter taste. When I asked the girl behind the counter for black coffee, she gave me a knowing look. I ignored it but now thinking about it, how could she possibly know what's happening in my life? She can't know but then again, my appearance could tell a story that my mouth hasn't. Or maybe she's been there and could sense why I look the way I look and why I'm ordering black coffee at one o'clock in the afternoon.

The walk back to my apartment takes less than five minutes. Shelby isn't in her usual spot behind the desk which makes me question who is making sure that no one who doesn't live here can just walk in. The elevator ride makes me think about Alex, and how he is always nervous whenever we are in one. I hope he's doing okay. One day I'll have enough courage to reach out to him but right now, I think it's best to stay away.

I sigh heavily before pulling out my keys. Maybe I'll be able to get some work done today. Even if it's editing one picture, it'll be the most work I've done in weeks. Stepping inside my apartment, I set my keys on the entry table before heading to the kitchen. I set the coffee on the island before grabbing a bowl. The sound of water running in my bathroom makes me freeze. I was alone before I left, I'm certain.

I set the bowl on the counter quietly as I walk around the island. I never felt the need to own a gun or really any weapon. Other than the chef knives in the kitchen, which I would rather not use on a person, I don't really have anything to protect myself if someone wants to hurt me. Anything can be a weapon in the case of an emergency. I don't remember giving anyone an extra key to my apartment. So, who's in my bathroom?