Moonlight Kisses

illusion

My thumb hovers over the keyboard, my eyes fixed like they have been for the past minute on the blue bubble with the message written in small white letters.

SOPH: Yeah, him and Serenity are talking again.

The cherry on top of the past 4 excruciatingly slow days. I've closed myself off from the world and he threw himself back into his old one. I've spent the past 4 days battling the complexity of my mind. He's spent the past 4 days rekindling an old flame. Neither of us had any right to go blaming the other for anything that happened that day or how we chose to deal with it. Coping mechanisms can vastly differ.

And yet there's a snide part of me that's not jealous of her, but rather jealous of him. I drew the short straw and now I'm stuck playing the role of the sore lonely loser. I had pure intentions with my end of the deal and yet the universe decided to give him the benefit. Now of course had I known about Jake's motives from the start, this deal wouldn't have even been a thing, but it would be nice to have someone in my corner. Someone so I'm able to say "Haha fucker, the joke's on you because I can do perfectly fine without your worthless help."

But sad enough to say, that's not the case.

Pettiness is not one of my proudest qualities. But when I feel it, it's for perfectly capable reasons. I lost at a game I started. I think that alone is enough to have a bit of resentment.

Not only that, but he managed to sink his claws into me. And while he's burying them into someone else, I get to pick up the pieces he shattered and put my pride back together again. He made me give a shit and now he gets to waltz off scot-free.

So sue me if I feel a little angry.

My phone vibrates in my hand, bringing me out of the rabbit hole that is my thoughts. I turn it on again and see another message from Sophie asking about our Big Bear trip we planned on a whim 2 days ago.

Thank god for the change of subject, who knows how long it would have been before I started plotting ways to kill Beau.

I text back a quick message telling her it's still on and a reminder not to bring Sean or any other boys for that matter. We're staying in a cabin smaller than her house, though still beautiful, I'll be in the room next to hers. I quite like my sleep and I don't think the sounds of a headboard hitting the other side of the wall could rock me to the ultimate peaceful slumber.

She sent a thumbs up followed by a middle finger emoji. Sweet girl alright.

"Jo!" Kat screams at the top of her lungs. Our house isn't so big that she must make the pictures rattle off the walls with her appalling howls, she only does it to annoy me and just about the entire city.

Still as irritating as it is effective, I barrel down the stairs to the kitchen where she's rolling out cookie dough.

"You said you were going to help," she grunts, pressing the rolling pin into the off-white dough with all her strength.

I reach over and take a glob of the mixture between my fingers and pop it into my mouth. "And I am." Her scowl grows as she watches me chew the sugar cookie batter she's supposed to be sticking in the oven in about 10 or so minutes. Just to be a brat, I add, "Could've used a little bit of cinnamon next time."

"Sorry didn't realize I was being judged by a world renowned chef here," she grumbles and slaps the pin down on the dough out of frustration.

My mom emerges from the pantry with different colored frostings, piping bags, and a variety of sprinkles. "Hey, hey, hey, be nice Kat."

"Yeah Kat," I rub it in with a snide teasing look. She makes a bleh sound and sticks her tongue out at me. Being not so much mature than her, I do that same in mimicking fashion.