Moonlight Kisses

i care about you

There's nothing but pitch black darkness for miles. That and a long empty road. One that seems never ending. I walk and I walk and I walk, nothing. Not a light. Not a person. Just a desolate street to nowhere. There's potholes in the cracked asphalt. Tire marks permanently indented in the concrete. Evidence of anyone else out there besides me, a figure who walks aimlessly who is just as much a part of the dark as the leaves rustling in the wind and the phantom sirens that can only be heard, not seen.

I step on something. It sticks to my bare foot. I lean down to pick it off my skin. A red and blue pill. More of them litter the floor around me, hundreds of them trapped in the street cracks. Along the sidewalk. Surrounding me on all sides. Red and blue pills.

I look up and suddenly I'm not on the street anymore. I'm trapped in a glass case. Behind metal bars.

Staring at myself.

The glass slowly closes in on me, barely leaving me with enough room to breathe. My lungs work on overdrive, sucking up all the air left in this tiny space. And there I stand, looking right at me. Blasé about the scene before her. I kick and scream, doing about everything possible to break out of this cage of terrors. Trying to get a reaction out of myself.

All I'm met with is a blank stare. With my fist pounding on the glass, the only thing I can hope for is that it shatters. The only person that can save me from this is myself, and this version of myself, the version that's supposed to be fixed has the most eerie glossy look in her eyes.

I need to get out of here.

She needs to remember me.

"Look at me!" My voice is hoarse like I'd been crying for hours. That's what it feels like anyways, like I've been trapped here for hours, months, years. It's easy to lose track of time when there's nothing around you. No light, no dark, no moon, no sun, just emptiness. And her vacant eyes. "Remember!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I repeat that word over and over again until it starts to lose its meaning.

I can hear her voice in my head. But it's unwavering, void of emotion. Her lips don't move, but her words are as clear as day. "I'm sorry, but that's where you need to be. That's your forever home."

"No it's not!" I sob, using that as more motivation to keep trying to kick this glass down. Just a crack, just a small crack is all I need. I need to breathe. "Look at me! Remember!" I'm a stranger to her when I'm her. Just a version of her that she doesn't like. A version she wants to keep locked up forever. She doesn't care if I rot in here, I could kick and scream all I want, there's no end to this.

I elbow the glass one last time. Then it cracks. Cracks just enough to allow some air to pass through. Sobs mixed with air deprivation made my lungs start to feel like they were on fire. Like I was drowning in my own tears. The slightest bit of air that comes through that crack in the glass makes me feel whole again.

It makes her cry.

The same void expression sheds a tear. Her eyes are red and watery.

I look down to where the crack once was, only to find it sealed like it was never there. "No!" I scream relentlessly over and over again. My hands are purple and bruised from the repeated slamming. I can't find my voice anymore within my sobs, so the only thing bouncing off these walls of imprisonment is that sound of my tortured cries for help.