Moonlight Kisses

mirror, mirror

beau.

My connectedness to Jo is far beyond my comprehension. When she's excited, I can feel it. When she's upset, I can feel it. When she's stressed, damn I can really feel it.

It's been a week since we sat down and had that talk about my past. The morning after that tumultuous night, we were fine. We talked a little about the hours prior, mostly just her needing to make sure I was okay before she had to leave. Once that need was sufficed, she left feeling reassured and most of all proud of me for being able to open up to her. Just as she did, I felt proud of myself too now that I've confided in her. I felt the burden slowly being lifted off my shoulders, the need to drown whatever's left of my troubled mind in drugs or alcohol doesn't feel as strong as it once was. I have her now, my moonlight. Something to lift me up past those harmful vices.

I started to think it may have been too much for her. When she snuck out to come see me the next day, I couldn't help but notice her high-strung manner. I thought once her mind had time to marinate in all the new information I'd given her, she became afraid of me in some way. Afraid of my past, afraid of what my demons are capable of. She couldn't hide her skittish mannerisms from me, not with a fake smile, not with a few superficial topics of conversation. Like I said, I could feel it. It weighed on my mind so heavily I couldn't not ask.

When I finally worked up the courage to ask, it came out pathetically pitiful of my own self. I was already thinking I brought on her stress and the revelation of my past was the very thing that kept her mind spinning. But we had to learn to speak to each other, communicate what's on our minds. If we don't, that brings even more obstacles on our path and we have more than enough of them. So I shoved aside all the self doubt and asked her if the reason she seemed so anxious was because of what I told her the other night.

As quick as she was to tell me that that wasn't it, she was even more quick to tell me what was actually on her mind. The worry plaguing her mind was brought on by going out to lunch with Sophie that same day and getting the hint that she may have known more than she let on. The questions she asked, the issues she pressed on about, it just didn't seem like the Sophie Jo knew on a regular basis. She had a bad feeling that she couldn't shake. If there's one thing I'm sure of about Jo's mind, it's that if her intuition is telling her something, it's not something we'd be wise to ignore. And that's exactly what she had, a gut feeling that was telling her we're going to get caught somehow.

So for her peace at mind, we've been extra cautious. At school. In sneaking around. Just about every aspect of our relationship. It could've very well put a strain on our relationship, going from seeing one another all the time for hours each time to having days where a single phone call would be the only time we spoke to each other. Sneaking around was hard. Then again so was keeping myself away from her completely at one point. But in the end we managed to move past it. We didn't let it get to us though. The times we could spend together we spent relishing in every second we had to spare. Every laugh between us was a treasure. Every conversation, whether it held any meaning or not, was appreciated. The sex, well...it was always good.

Sex with her felt like heaven every time. Our highs left us breathless, practically seeing stars. I've had sex plenty of times with plenty of girls, but it was always just random hookups I never really cared much for beyond getting and giving pleasure. But with her it's better than anything I've ever known. Yes, her body is ethereal, her moans are so fucking angelic, but it's the love between us is what amplifies the experience. Sex isn't just sex when it's with her. It's addicting, it's magnetizing, it's everything one could ever want. It's the closest bond we'll ever get, the most vulnerable she'll ever become. When at first she was shy about showing off her gorgeous body, which she has absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, I've helped her get more confident with herself. She has yet to fully take control but I can just tell when she gets undressed she isn't worrying about what I'm saying or thinking. She's so damn hot and she knows it. Even just thinking about it now makes my dick throb, that's how much power she holds over me. I'm her bitch at this point, even though it doesn't seem that way when I'm pounding into her.