Moonlight Kisses

sunday breakfast

It's 9 am and the first thing on my mind is what I'm going to wear today. I usually don't wake up until an hour from now, maybe even more if I had a rough night. Sometimes I could be up for 24 hours at a time and not even realize until I hit my final crash and it's like my body has no energy to even get to my bed. My family doesn't bother me much after those rare nights, which is always good.

I got a text message from Beau asking me to wear "something you can walk around in, something that won't be too uncomfortable". So why am I overthinking this? A regular old T-shirt and some jeans. No thought necessary.

Wrong. My scattered mind insists on making everything ten times more difficult. So while the first thing on my mind this morning was what I was going to wear, the next was what I was in the mood to eat when me and him went out for breakfast. Then it was where he was planning on taking me after that. And just when I thought the initial wave of panic was over and done with, I started worrying about why I was worrying about today so much.

Now it's 9:45 am, my room is a fucking mess, I can't get my thoughts organized, therefore I'm a fucking mess. All over some boy who ironically enough is the only person who can silence these thoughts. The real kicker being he has to actually be in my presence in order for that to happen.

He has the type of leverage in his grasp that every part of me is screaming no to. My heart that's afraid of getting hurt. My body because it knows with immense emotional pain comes the physical. And my mind because a part of it is still working around the clock to make me hate Beau again. The only way that'll happen is if he does something to hurt my heart. My mind can't seem to get a grip over that fact until it'll be too late and much like before, I'll be a puddle on the floor with no one to turn to this time for quiet.

Focus.

With a heaving sigh, I grab the first two things I spot. A dark blue pair of high-waisted jeans and a white long-sleeve shirt. There, done. I kick all the extra clothes aside, locating my AirPods within the mess. While I'm still clad in my bra and panties, I connect them to my phone and let music drown out all the extra noise fogging up my brain.

The hem of my shirt cuts off right at the top of my jeans, not showing so much to where I have to be worrying about it constantly. I twist my hair up into a bun because I stupidly let it air dry last night so now it's all wavy and frizzy.

As I'm pulling stray hairs out of the top knot to frame my face, I hear a familiar tapping on my window. I turn around from my mirror and there's Beau in all his smug glory. Rolling my eyes dramatically, I stomp over to the window and pull it open.

"Morning, sunshine," he grins, his voice even more mocking than the first time he said that to me the other night.

"I told you there was no one here, you could've gone through my door," I laugh softly, leaning on the side panel keeping my window intact.

He juts his bottom lip out. "Now where's the fun in that?"

I playfully flick him on the forehead and start walking towards the foot of my bed to put my shoes on. What I didn't expect was for him to follow me.

He looks odd in my room. Most of everything in here is along the lines of pink, beige, or white. His all black outfit and just his overall aura seem to cast shadows on the area. The fact that we're polar opposites in so many ways while also being able to strike up some sort of bond continues to astound me in moments like this where the differences with us are all the more apparent.

Not to mention, his tall, lean figure looks almost too big for my average sized bedroom.

His eyes scan over everything in my room, from the clothes littering my floor to the makeup neatly placed on my vanity, finally landing on my unmade bed with throw pillows scattered all around the sides, creating an outline of where I usually sleep. I have no clue why I can't sleep without pillows surrounding me on all sides, all I can say is that the support on all sides soothes me. And Kat says it keeps me from rolling off the bed when I'm having one of my bad nights.