Moonlight Kisses

dreams

Part two of the double update. If you haven't read the last chapter, go go go !!!

beau.

Light rustling shakes me awake shortly after the clock hits ten. My tired mind doesn't know what to make of it. It's a struggle to pull myself out of such a deep sleep. Last night left my whole body feeling heavy and exhausted. The second I hit the pillows I passed out and I'd been sleeping like a log ever since.

But as I start to come to, I feel that faint jerking movement once more. I rub my eyes, trying to rid them of sleep before I look down to where Jo ought to be. Curled up in my arms, buried into my body the same way we fell asleep. My heart jumps when she's not there, but all the way on the opposite side of the bed. Her body quivers beneath the blanket. Her arms thrash about at her side, as if in a struggle.

That sure as hell wakes me up. I'm alert as if I'd been up for hours, struck with worry.

She whimpers softly in her sleep, too quietly for me to make out the words she's saying. I tear the sheets off of my body to hastily move closer to her. Panic strikes me like a pang of lightning, I'd never seen her so restless in her slumber before. I've seen the excess amount of tears she's woken up with on more than just one occasion. As heartbreaking as it is to think about how her mind is so merciless that it won't stop while she's sleeping, there's nothing I could do about those tears. All I can do for her is wipe them away and watch her go on about her day like such a thing is normal. Crying in her sleep is something she does too often, but I've never seen her like this. Never.

I sit up beside her, giving her shoulder a light shake. "Jo," I whisper. She's a light sleeper, the movement alone should have brought her out of whatever nightmare that's tormenting her. But it doesn't. I nudge her a little harder, flinching back when her voice gets a bit louder.

"No," she pleads hoarsely, "no, no, no." It's as if she'd been crying for a while.

And there wasn't a single thing I did about it. "Jo," I repeat, this time grabbing one of her hands and holding it in my hands. That always seems to work when she's upset. I don't know if it's the skin to skin contact or the natural heat that embodies itself between our fingers, but for whatever reason, it helps her gain control over her emotions.

This time that isn't the case. It does the very opposite, it pulls her deeper into her vision. "Let go, please," she whimpers, "Let go of me." I quickly rip the blanket off of her and notice her other hand balled up into a fist tensely shaking in pure and utter fear. I take it anyway, getting the same reaction as before.

What things has her mind decided to torture her with to make her feel this way? So helpless. So broken. I can feel it in her unreciprocated grasp, as if I'm nothing but a part of her nightmare. "Baby, shh it's me, okay? Wake up, love, it's just a dream," I soothe her, but it's like she doesn't even hear me. Her frail body continues to tremble beside me. Her hands I guide up to my chest, placing them both over my heart the way she always does when she's going through her episodes of hyperventilation and excess thoughts that she can't keep from running. In an attempt to anchor herself in the thought of me, she puts her delicate hands on my flesh. Feeling my frantic heartbeat and steadying it under her fingers, all the while picturing it as her heartbeat calming itself too. By putting her hands on my chest, I allow her to feel me for herself. Feel something outside of her torment but it's no use. She's in too deep.

"Let go," she cries desperately. More tears than before streaming down her face, leaving clear streaks in their wake as they roll down her flushed cheeks and absorb into the pillowcase. I'm making it worse. Fuck, I'm making it worse.

I let go of her hands altogether. Thinking it'll somehow make it stop or bring her back to reality, but it doesn't. I've already stained her with my touch, and now it refuses to leave her mind. "Stop it! Stop, please. No, no, no..." Her broken sobs play on repeat. No, no, no. She shakes her head frantically. Her body trembles all the more intensely than before. Stop it.