The Fall

36. Respect

2.16.21

Connor's POV

"So, what do we do now? It's officially not considered cruel to attack them."

"First, we need to know where their home base is. Would you please have your most discrete demon fly around the area to check? I want to know everything: whether it's flat or hilly, warm or cold. Tell them not to hold anything back from me. The color of the grass could help."

"I'll get right on that." I left the room and went on a mission to adhere to what he asked. I soon found a man with midnight black wings and pulled him aside. It's not quite night, but I'm planning to send him out once it is. Benji is right; searching through the humans' land is the most important thing right now. They know everything about our "fort," but we haven't got a clue about theirs.

"What do you need from me?" the man asked while staring into my soul. I don't like the expression on his face, but I didn't have the authority to change it. That's the problem; I don't have the right amount of power to get respect. I'm right on the edge where I really deserve it, but no one cares enough to show it to me. I was only Benji's right-hand man, not an official general. It was annoying, but I also didn't want the emotional burden of having an important position. I guess that it's a double-edged sword that I'd rather just avoid together.

"I need you to go on a special mission."

"What says that I need to do it? I don't see the point in going on some dumb mission that could get me killed."

"In this case, it would be for the good of the revolution."

"I don't want to die for anyone else, only for me."

"Listen, you're the one that is the least likely to get killed. Will you please do this for me?"

"And why would I do it for someone like you? For all I know, you're intimidated by me and want me out of the way. I'm not going to fall for it."

"Listen, Benjamin asked me to find the person who would be the hardest to spot, and that's you. We just need you to go and survey the human's land and tell us what you find. Anything you say can be helpful for Benji to get a good mental image. That's the only way for us to make a battle plan. Do you want your future children to have a better life or not?"

"You should have just said that it came from over your head in the first place, and I would have listened better."

"I didn't want the place the order came from to be the only reason you did it."

"Face it, everyone here is more likely to listen to him than to you."

"I know that."

"So just use him next time and don't go around wasting our precious time; we have things to do that don't involve you."

"Will you please just do as he asked already?"

"Fine, whatever you say, buddy."

The man walked away from me without another word, and I sighed louder than I should have. "I wasn't done with the assignment yet!"

"Then tell me the rest of it before you take a huge pause!"

"You're supposed to find it and put the information into a small tablet. This is the tablet." I handed him the small item, and he looked at it with a kind of disdain. I hate people like this with a burning passion. "As you notice things, type them into here. If you can get a picture in, please do that, but don't take too long there. We want you in and out as fast as you possibly can without missing important details."

"Alright, I'll do that." He finished his trip away from us, and I felt like I was being burned alive a bit. People who disvalued me like that set my hair on end, you know? I just want to grind him into a pulp in the ground to make an example, but I have the restraint not to. I guess that's what set me apart from a lot of the other people in the room. I know what empathy is, but they see it as a weakness. I'm aware that I'm not doing anything wrong, but that wouldn't stop them from walking all over me like an area rug. It really sucks, and I found myself grinding my teeth together subconsciously.

When I regained my peace, I walked back down the hallway... Down to the basement that I wish I could stop going to. I don't want to keep coming back, but there's a force that attracts me here. It's almost like we have a bond... Oh wait, we do. I also want to know all of the answers. Benji told me that he had gotten someone to get the prisoners ready to talk. I hoped that I could get there before he. I want to learn what's going on before Benji does. I wouldn't bother the other prisoners, but I wanted to know about my own personal issues straight from my husband. I can't just throw him away as my father suggested. Maybe it's similar to what the demons think; maybe my empathy does make me weak.

When I entered the cell, I couldn't explain why my heart still hurt for him. He was huddled up in the corner with frightened eyes. There was blood surrounding him, and it was easy to see that the person Benji hired had taken no pity on him. He looked at me with saddened grey eyes, and I had to look away before I allowed too much mercy to leak into my system. Now isn't the time, not after he hurt my son.

"What do you want from me? Why are you back? Are you here to revel in all of the pain I feel for your own purposes?"

"I don't want to do anything of the sort to you. I don't have to rub my freedom in the face of someone who's clearly struggling."

"I'm guessing that you're here for information since I've been buttered up. Well, you can forget it. My mouth is sealed and always will be. I won't allow myself to fall for another one of your manipulative tricks."

"I've never tried to do that to you, Varian. I've done my best to be the fairest person ever to you. I'm not aiming to hurt you with anything I do."

"Then why am I still down here. If you really cared, you would have set me free by now. Instead, I'm still stuck all alone in this damned cell with the mold."

"I think that you deserve to be in here for what you did to Larp and me."

"See? You're pinning me as the bad guy again. It's the same as it always is with you, isn't it? I don't want to break it to you, but there's a real reason I did what I did."

"So you do have a reason? I would like to know it since you seem to have all of the answers in your head."

"If you stop badgering me about it, I'll tell you. But only if you promise and mean it."

"I promise."

"Alright, then sit down so that I can tell you."