The Fall

58. Public View

Benji's POV

As much as I despised admitting it, the knowledge of the death total made me lose control over my emotions. That and being yelled at, I was tired of having things shoved onto me. The only real decision Connor made wasn't necessarily a not-important one, but thinking about how that child might die pushed me over the edge. He was too young, much too innocent. I just hope that we get some word back before we're attacked again...

***

It was a few days later when I was finally allowed out of the hospital room with a chaperone and a wheelchair. The doctor seemed to believe that the clove was mostly out of my system, and it would only be next week before I could walk out on my own. I was dying to be free; go somewhere of my own volition. However, I would just have to wait. This is good enough, for now. I haven't seen Connor since I snapped at him that day, and it made me feel as if I had done something wrong. The reason I was allowed out of the medbay is that the runner was back- I have to read the letter he's brung back.

As soon as we arrived in my office, I noticed it on top of the mountain of papers on my desk, and I grabbed it down. The paper was slightly slick from the previous rain, but the writing upon it was still visible. I tugged the inner paper out of the envelope and flipped it open, and read the words within. "I was right..." I muttered at the end, running my hand across the signature at the bottom of the letter. They don't have anyone to spare either; this little revolution is starting to fall apart. I set it back on the top of the pile and leaned back in the chair.

"Would you mind bringing me outside?" I requested, but the man above me wore a frown on his face.

"Are you really sure that you want to see that? I was instructed not to traumatize you or push you into one of those moods where you want action."

"Unfortunately for you, you've already done that. I just need to go to the edge where the reporters are."

"That's unwise, we don't know if they have people staged within the press. You aren't in a proper condition to run away. Also, you won't have a very positive message on TV right now."

"Am I not the one who gives the orders around here? I'm not trying to have a positive message, I'm trying to get people. I won't survive-- none of us here will survive-- if you don't let me try."

"Fine... If it's what you think will be best, I shouldn't try to dissuade you from it. As long as you don't blame me if you get attacked from within, we're fine here."

"It's my decision, I wouldn't blame you for it."

He walked me out into the square, and it was impossible not to notice that the old stunning gray stone tiles had been stained a crimson red color. I gave my hand behind me a hand signal to stop moving, and did as instructed. There was no space out here for arguing-- I'm sure that the press already has all of their cameras on us with a massive breaking news headline. I haven't been seen in quite a while.

I gazed upward and began to fake a prayer for the people who lost their lives in the fighting. I don't believe in a God, I never really have, but I can't think of any other way to make it seem like I'm honoring their lives. Anyone who really knows me could tell that it was fake, but they're not the ones I'm targeting. I need to make our cause seem just to everyone by showing myself in a positive light.

As soon as that was done, I gestured for the man to push me over to the chattering press. Their eyes widened a bit as we approached as none probably expected to see me in person, but the potential for a story almost forced them to bite.

"How are you all on this fine evening?" I asked the group, and one of the women was the first to come out of shock. She put on a perfect professional smile and quickly shoved her blue microphone into my face.

"I'm fine, how are you?" I responded with a matching grin on my face, and the rest of the reporters seemed to come back from their mini freak out. Immediately there were more questions and microphones, and I did my best to answer all of them with optimistic honesty. It doesn't take a genius to see that there were many deaths here today, but they didn't have to know just how few we have left. As my chaperone had mentioned, the enemy is probably watching this- we already have a massive target on our back, but reinforcements would come if they knew there were only 17- well, 16- inside of the town hall.

"Before we cut off, I would like to speak directly with the public," I declared before making direct eye contact with the cameras. "If there is anyone out there who may be questioning our cause but is willing to fight, please, come find me. I'm delighted to explain why we're doing this to anyone who inquires." I looked back at the man behind me, and he brought me back into the hall. I think that that was a pretty good press conference, so I was satisfied going back to the medical bay. However, when I got there, I noticed Connor seated next to the bed.

"It's been a while," I acknowledged, and he turned to me.

"I think it's about time that we get past our difficulties for the sake of this revolution. Anyone can tell you that it isn't the same when we're on the outs."

"I'm content to do so. I was wrong to get overly upset with you, you're allowed to make some of your own decisions. Just because we're co-leaders doesn't mean that you have to update me every few seconds."

"I shouldn't have taken it so seriously when you did. It's been a long week for us, and I'm an inch from snapping as well. You're allowed to have your own opinions just like I am. Given, the delivery was a bit off, but I can handle it."

"Thank you."

"Anyway, I heard that you got the letter back. What did it say?"

"They're also struggling for troops, they don't have a soul to spare for us. I might have fixed it, though."

"How?"

"Try turning on the TV," I instructed, not totally sure that it would still be on. However, when it did come on, it was just at the beginning of my little speech. His calculative eyes watched the screen before him, and at the end of the broadcast, he nodded.

"We might get a few people from that, the public view of you is weird that you're a harsh and cold leader. That may help out some with that view."

"All we can do is hope."

Hey guys, sorry that it's been so long, just lost a lot of motivation. However, I'm back now, and I'm going to try my best to finish this once and for all.