999<3 | ONESHOT [ ✔️ ]

[ C - soonhoon ] 너 울러?

T/N: you're crying?
[ jihoon only becomes interested in soonyoung when he sees him cry. and that's because he never does. ]

"the boys with the biggest smiles have the biggest worries."

kwon soonyoung was a bright person. everyone knew that. you heard him before you saw him, and it left you wondering 'who's pretty laugh was that?' kwon soonyoung was an actor. he acted for the people. he pretended to be sad, when someone offered him food, he turned the dial on his excitement way higher than it had to be, he was dramatic for the cameras and everyone ate his roles up. everyone loved him. what they didn't know was how well soonyoung could play his role. they didn't know soonyoung also pretended to be happy.

lee jihoon was soonyoung's friend, band mate, confidant, his everything basically. he played along with soonyoung second most often after seokmin and often found himself being very comfortable with soonyoung. naturally they became very close, so jihoon knew many sides of soonyoung. the one side he didn't expect to see was the sad side of soonyoung. the one whose cries could be heard only if you listened close enough, for the boy himself didn't want anyone at all to know how pained he was.

jihoon had left his studio to stretch out himself when he heard a noise that sounded pretty obvious in the silence of the halls. he tried to listen harder and heard another one, immediately following it to a practice room. it was weird, because that room wasn't assigned for use by anyone yet. quietly, jihoon pressed down the handle and swung the door open. he spotted soonyoung, leaned up against one of the walls without a mirror, legs propped up, outstretched arms resting on his knees.

if it wasn't for the fact that soonyoung looked so shaken up, jihoon would've left. but he stayed and power walked his way to soonyoung, slide-clad feet thumping on the wooden floor. "soon." jihoon crouched beside the boy, who seemed to suddenly snap out of something. recognising jihoon, he quickly wiped what tears were sitting in the line of his eyes and tried to look as normal as possible. even if jihoon has already seen him in his bad state.

"what happened? were you crying?" soonyoung's loud laughter resonated through the room. it sounded so normal and okay... "crying? me? no~ i was just- i was- i'm okay!" soonyoung smiled. but it looked wrong. jihoon knew why: the smile didn't reach soonyoung's eyes.

"it's okay to cry, soon. no one expects you to be happy 24/7." soonyoung laughed in his chest, almost mocking what jihoon just said. "but they do."

and jihoon was stunned. did soonyoung always have this burden on him? jihoon kept thinking long after they parted ways. if he was so burdened then how could he maintain that dazzling smile 24/7? how is it possible that he was still able to continue like nothing was wrong? jihoon sighed, soonyoung was just too nice for his own good. jihoon understood not wanting to let people in so that they didn't have to worry about you when they had their own problems. he understood perfectly.

from then on, he'd keep a conscious watch on soonyoung, trying to see when he'd break again. it wasn't anything evil just... he wanted to be there for him. jihoon needed to let him know he was always going to be there.

then late at night, jihoon was shutting himself in his studio again. no one was allowed in, it was a rule set in place by the household; jihoon would tell everyone and they'd follow the rules. simple. except, a knock came at the frosted glass door and the tear-streaked face of the one and only kwon soonyoung flashed through the one fully clear strip on the door. jihoon had never rushed for the door that fast in his life. "soonyoung-?" the word 'baby' nearly fell off his tongue.

control, jihoon. watch it.

"i... i need help, ji. i really do i-" with jihoon shushing him and petting him into eternity, soonyoung was guided onto his sofa and hugged into jihoon's side. a strange feeling of absolute certainty and comfort washed over him. jihoon felt like home. "tell me what happened."

soonyoung told him everything. how he was so tired- too tired to move on. he knows he can't be like this but what could he do? he's already built up that persona for himself, god what a mess he'd gotten into. "i just... i was in a good place when i started this whole thing you know? freshly debuted, we were getting love and i was.. i was good- i was fine!" soonyoung sighed and another set of tears spilled over. "but now i'm not and i'm forced to keep it up. i'm not that happy anymore, ji. it got tiring after a while- what do i do?" and he cried into jihoon even more.

jihoon felt his heart swell. seeing soonyoung- his bright and shining star- crying his heart and feelings out hurt him so bad. he gave pretty words of encouragement, treading dangerously near the blurred lines of an 'i love you'. jihoon let his soft cheek press against soonyoung's temple. his shampoo was divine, sweet like cherries and fresh like cotton.

"look at me, kwon."

that was either the best or worst decision jihoon had ever made. because staring into kwon soonyoung's fiery warm brown eyes made jihoon sink deep into an abyss he was unfamiliar with. he'd never experienced the warmth of someone weaker than him in his arms, staring so hopeful into his eyes as if he were going to say something to change their world forever. he felt so responsible for what he would say to soonyoung then in that moment. his mind was jumbled with all the vocabulary he ever knew since he was two. only three shot out at him, highlighted themselves in bold and lit up in his mind.

"i love you."

to jihoon, the only solution to the silence and more of kwon soonyoung's watery eyes was a kiss. a kiss to show his sincerity, the truth behind his words and his love. in fifteen seconds or less, lee jihoon fell for kwon soonyoung. in fifteen seconds or less, jihoon felt like the broken boy in his arms belonged to him only and he was to be the only one to fix him, to nurse him back to health and to hold his hand for eternity. those fifteen seconds told him 'this is it. this is what you've been waiting for.' and it just felt so right to lay his lips on soonyoung's.

jihoon felt the boy's tears on his own cheeks but soonyoung's push of desire solidified the unspoken truth; soonyoung loved him too.

by the time they broke away, soonyoung was straddling jihoon. no words could be spoken. it would only ruin the warm and cozy atmosphere.

"shua-hyung said i shouldn't have come here at all. he said that you wouldn't have taken me in 'cus you'd be too busy." soonyoung said, getting off jihoon and choosing to sit beside him and cuddle into him instead. jihoon chuckled, "he was wrong wasn't he? i'll always let you in. you're the only exception, soon." the older's heart warmed and he cuddled more into jihoon's side. "let's go home, i wanna sleep next to you."

(24/12/20 - 1:45AM)

•••

GIRL WHAT 💀💀💀

i just realised i wrote this on christmas eve,, what goes on LMAOO

i also realised all my chapters so far are in korean i apologise 😭😭