999<3 | ONESHOT [ ✔️ ]

[ c - soonhoon ] 남;TWILIGHT

TAG: "i can't fall asleep without you" (너 없인 잠들 수 없어)

jihoon doesn't wanna admit it, but he's needy as hell.

title and lyrics from kim lip's solo bside <3

•••

오늘도 새벽 3시 - It's 3AM again

jihoon never doubts his own judgement. he knows his morals and his wants and needs. so he's got no chance of ever doubting himself. but at some moments, he only realises the effect of his actions a long, long time after.

one of those moments is now. at 3AM, he's lying cold, lonely and very much awake on his bed. sleep won't come and he curses himself for making that stupid rule. why did he make soonyoung sleep in a separate room in the first place? jihoon sure as hell won't admit it, but he needs soonyoung. now.

천장만 바라보다 - I'm staring at the ceiling

jihoon hasn't been keeping track but it feels like 20 minutes have passed. he hasn't moved to try to call soonyoung, didn't try to leave the bed to go over to soonyoung. all he's done is stare up at the blank ceiling. nothing's happening.

jihoon feels a little itchy too. he wants to do something, maybe call out for soonyoung, but his mind is making up excuses to why he shouldn't. like maybe soonyoung's already asleep! now that's a big one. but that's not true.

soonyoung has said before how he finds it difficult to sleep too, without jihoon. it's the one thing that stands out when soonyoung comes whining to jihoon every three to four days about this 'stupid' rule. well... it does look a little stupid now, jihoon thinks.

아침이 오기는 하는 걸까? - Is morning even coming?

what feels like another ten minutes crawl by and jihoon feels a new sense of determination. he has to. he really can't sleep. for the very first time ever, he's having this much trouble falling asleep. and it's all because kwon soonyoung isn't there for him? jihoon scoffs at himself, he thinks he's pathetic.

but he still makes no move.

he curses at himself, "damn it, just go over there and tell him you can't sleep. easy!" he tries to persuade himself. it doesn't work.

따스했던 그 손길 부드러운 목소리 - That warm touch, that soft voice

jihoon thinks back to when they did spend their nights beside each other. he remembers how full and warm the bed felt, how soonyoung's breathing helped him fall into a rhythm and drift so easily to sleep- damn it! he's so tired too, so why isn't he falling asleep?

it's only mid-week, yet jihoon is getting bombarded with requests and changes to tweak songs and all these minute things... he just wants to yell back at all these companies and people to just fix it themselves! they have the means to do it, why not?!

unfortunately, this job pays pretty well so he can't really say anything, now can he?

너 없인 잠들 수 없어 - Without you, I can't sleep

finally! finally! jihoon is out of bed and pattering to soonyoung's room. pillow and plushie in hand, he remembers to turn off his A/C before scuttering his way to soonyoung's closed door. he knocks and a lazy hum comes from the other side. that's the signal to go in.

jihoon sees soonyoung flick on the bedside lamp and rub his eyes. so he was asleep?

suddenly jihoon feels very conscious that he just might've woken his boyfriend up. "d-did i- were you sleeping?" he asks. soonyoung makes a noise and mumbles, "not really. but kinda... what's up, baby?"

the pet name sends shivers up and down jihoon. it's like he'd forgotten what being boyfriends entailed.

"ah... i... i couldn't sleep, nyoungie. so i'm here now." cringe. jihoon hated how weak he sounded. but it all flew away when soonyoung suddenly sounded so much more alive, "really? oh! my jihoonie came to me first this time!~"

soonyoung pats the spot next to him and jihoon crawls under the warm blanket. the spot's cold from soonyoung not lying there. he adjusts his pillows the way he likes them and lies down with a huff. turning to the side, he sees soonyoung's round and wide eyes and has to laugh. "why're you staring, soon?"

he reaches an affectionate hand out to trace soonyoung's jaw and he holds jihoon's hand on his cheek. he smiles, "because you're here. with me. finally."

"i couldn't sleep, soons. maybe that rule i set was stupid." soonyoung chuckles, "now you realise? it's been, what, almost a month? i wondered how long you would continue this for."

jihoon hums, "why, would you have done something to retaliate one of the days?"

"i would've just burst in one night. classic kwon soonyoung style." jihoon rolls his eyes and he's sure it translates in his tone, "you're not naming it after yourself."

silence passes through the room with the occasional deep exhale from jihoon. hearing soonyoung's breathing is lulling him back to his memories and his dreams...

"are you happy, ji?"

soonyoung pulls him right back out of the water, "huh? i- yeah..." jihoon breathes like he's been drowning. "yeah, i am. right now. i am."

"come cuddle." it takes two words for jihoon to shuffle on closer into soonyoung's arms. damn if he won't admit he's the cuddliest person ever.

soonyoung's warmth is heating up his dreams and he's ready to leave to dreamland again.

"goodnight, nyoung. thanks for not making fun of me."

soonyoung chuckles lowly to not break the atmosphere, "i wouldn't think of that ever. you're my little baby, and i love you. thank you for coming tonight."

jihoon makes a noise. it's embarrassing how baby-like he sounded but he's too tired to care. soonyoung may make fun of him tomorrow though... but the night is theirs to treasure and tuck away.

Oh baby, baby I can('t) sleep.

잘자<3

a/n: am i thinking of doing the Wamen version yes but idk who to write yet :')