Shudder

3. I Take My Coffee Black

Song Of the Chapter: Slow and Steady - Monsters Of Men

****

I snuck out of his grasp before he could wake up. Unhinging the lock that was easier to open than what I had thought yesterday. Before stepping back out into the evening streets I left a note lazily sitting on his kitchen counter.

Forever grateful

J.

It's 5 o'clock when I step back into my house, red matted dress and broken high heels still mangled around my body.

"Jessie is that you?" she comes from around the hallway corner her hair dark and in a bun with jeans and a sweater.

"Yes Aimee it's me." I drop my shoes on the doorway carpet walking towards the washroom that is down the hall Aimee just came from.

"Where the hell were you last night Jess? You haven't been home for more than an hour in 2 days. The partying has to stop! You're scaring me! I don't want you to end up like -"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." I slam her shoulder against mine walking into my room that's across from hers trying to distance myself from her but she continues to follow me. "You have no right bringing that up. You are my best friend, my roommate, I don't live with you to here this motherly shit." I slam the washroom door hearing her footsteps fade off into our apartment. I turn from the washroom door jumping at my appearance in the large mirror. Holy Shit. Black clouds my eyes red from last night's lip stick smear my cheeks and jaw line. My hair stands on imaginary string being held up my nothing. I look like an absolute mess; but I guess that just reflects how I've been feeling.

****

After a hour long shower scrubbing myself of the layers of dirt, and emotion it is now 6 and I'm dressed in dark jeans and a soft sweater. Finding Aimee on the couch I walk over sitting beside her as we watch Teen Wolf in silence.

"I'm sorry Aims."

"You know I only try to help you. You're mother -"

"Stop."

"See you haven't even come to terms with it yet Jess; that's not healthy. I have known you for 7 years, I have seen you cry from your first broken heart and laugh your hardest and yet when the most tragic thing happens you party every night with a fake smile plastered all over your face."

"It's not easy you know."

"Never said it was. I'm sorry."

"I'm not hiding from it you know. I just don't believe it."

She shakes her head flipping the TV off. "Okay."

"Okay." she hits my leg knowing that I am not very affectionate, "Hey why don't we get some coffee?"

"Sure." I say smiling as I grab my small purse and walk out of the apartment building best friend in hand.

***

"Can I just have a black coffee please?" The cashier nods handing me my instant coffee as I give him my 3 dollars. Aimee had to leave only minutes ago her duty of a doctor's intern is a 24/7 job. So I sit here alone in the small coffee shop.

This morning was horrendous. Since today I hadn't had an anxiety attack for five years only to be broken by one mistake. I should of stayed right? Thanked the handsome man from saving me and apologizing for the way I acted. Why did he hug the way he did instead of pushing me out? I still remember the way his hands felt against the heart of my back even in my state of mind. The hint of sweetness behind his smell was intoxicating. Something of spring. Or maybe was it winter?

"Is someone sitting here?"

"Hmm?" I say hidden in my thoughts.

"I said is someone sitting here?" I look up dazzled by the man that lays in front of me. His short beard shapes his perfectly symmetrical face of a sharp jaw line, long dark black hair pulled back into little twists that create a hair band around his hair, and his eyes a mix of brown and what is that; green? Softly look over me with question.

"No, no one is sitting here."

"Great." He pulls up a seat and I catch tattoos peaking out of his sleeve. "Hi."

"Hiiii" Making the 'i' longer then it should be as I smirk at him taking a sip of my dark coffee.

"What kind of coffee you got there?"

"Black."

"Black?"

"Just like how I like my men."

He spits out his water he was beginning to drink. Droplets spitting all over my face. After all the water is drained from his mouth he looks at me with udder shock as I wipe the water off with a napkin.

"Oh god. I am so sorry. Bloody he-, I am so sorry here." He hands me napkins and wipes my face as I watch him. He catches me staring and I begin to laugh taking all that has happened in the middle of a cafe. Soon enough he sits back into his seat as we laugh hysterically.

"Guess that wasn't the best starter off joke." I wipe my eyes of tears. Happy tears though; the first goods ones I've had in awhile.

"Usually people just introduce themselves."

"Jessie."

"Zayn."

"British?" His accent now noticeable.

"Born and raised in Bradford."

"Age?"

"23."

"Life goals?"

"Undecided."

I smirk at him and he smirks back is hands playing with his waters' bottle cap. "You're doing good so far, but I'd have to -"

"Wait." He takes my hand and I feel heat slowly rise from where his hand was. "I'm sorry but I have to be totally honest with you. When you were speaking I was not listening to a word you said because for most of it I was trying to figure out the fastest way to get you to moan and scream my name.