Shudder

11. The Way the Water Leans Part 2

ZAYNS POV

She's gone. I say to myself. The pressure that was once on my chest from her head is no longer there, and my arms are dangling on the couch and not wrapped around her. She's gone.

I stand up from the couch and call her name searching around the small apartment while stopping at my bedroom to change my clothes. Picking up my phone I look to see if there are any messages from her.

Message From: Harry

She's with me.

I knew exactly what he meant and those three words is all I needed for me to grab my keys and wallet and head out the door to find her.

Using a location system on my phone I go into my contacts and click on Jessie's name, I press start and my phone tells me that she is located at "Queens Washington Cemetery" Where Harry's father is buried. Why would he take her there? - but I already know the answer.

***

"He wants her pity!" I saw out loud slamming the wheel with my wrists as I drive past the lake and turn the corner, riding on a dirt road.

Don't get me wrong Harry is my best friend but I know what he is like, how he gets. I am only just trying to protect Jessie. I really like her and I can't help but think of all the things that could go wrong if she would chose him or me.

It's not that he doesn't deserve her, but the damage that Harry has had is too strong for someone like Jessie to handle, especially with all the panics attacks and troubles she has. Has she told him about her troubles? I've tried my best to stay out of her personal life like the professors at my university say,

First step to be coming a good therapist is letting the patient come to you.

And that's what I was trying to do, let Jessie come to me, when she was ready.

I can imagine the day now. Something sad would trigger yet another one of her episodes, she'd cry in my arms and slowly unravel what is her mind as I'd kiss her all over mending her. I want to fix her. I know I can, she just needs to let me in, then I can open her up to all the things my professors have taught me and soon enough she could be better. Yeah, she could be fixed.

Does she need fixing?

***

20 minutes later I roll my car up the driveway fury already settling in as I see them off into the distances laughing and hugging.

The gates locked but that doesn't stop me from sticking my foot into the wedge of the fence and flinging myself over. I land in a heap of bushes and I wipe off broken petals and leaves as my adrenaline hasn't yet simmered down. Stomping over each grave I walk towards them lessening the distance between me and her. Did she choose him? I know I've only known her for 4 days but she's mine to fix, not Harry's.

His hands are wrapped around her as she sits in his lap. Is he fucking kidding me?

"So this is what you left me for? To play in a cemetery?"

***

JESSIES POV

Harry's hand slide up and down my back as he cradles me, rocking back and forth. I don't feel his touch or his comforting words as I re- read the name written on the stone.

"So this is what you left me for? To play in a cemetery?" Zayn's voice rings in my ear but I can't tear my eyes away from the stone.

"Zayn listen -"

"Oh no Harry no need to explain. I got your text."

"You texted him?" I say slipping out of Harry's grasp to stand up.

"She's with me. He said." Zayn's cheeks are burning red from anger, but I can't help but notice how he looks; a strand of hair swinging in front of his face, brushing his lips due to the wind. My mother would like him. But she'll never meet him.

"Why'd you text that Harry?" I don't recognize my voice it's cold and soft like a stream of fountain water. "Is this a game or something?" I step in between the two men as they both eye me. Zayn with anger, Harry with concern. "Am I a prize. I- I don't want to be a prize."

"You aren't a prize. I just wanted him to know you were okay."

"No you wanted me to be jealous." Zayn's words are laced with spite burning as they pass me and reach Harry.

"She came to me for a reason Zayn. We haven't done anything I just want to get to know her, be her friend." Harry passes me, standing in front of Zayn now.

".. Or you wanted to get into her pants."

"You know that's not true!"

"How do I know that Harry? You've gone ape shit over the last few months. Screaming and crying at night sometimes, throwing shit against the walls keeping me up, and bringing three girls over on the same day."

"You do all those things?" I squeak out looking towards Harry.

"No- well- no- yes. Shit! But it's only because - I.. Fuck!" He racks a hand through his hair pulling at it. He seems to do that when he's mad. I knew I shouldn't have left Zayn's apartment.

"I don't really care anymore Harry."

"You're not thinking straight Jessie, I can explain."

"What do you mean she's not thinking straight?" Zayn stands in front of me looking into my eyes that will not dare look in his. Maybe I'd feel better If I was laying in the ground next to my mother.

"I found my mother." I think is what I say.

"That's great! Could I meet her?" I see Harry shaking his head. He must be laughing at himself for choosing me as one of his 3 girls he brings home every day. Damaged old me.

"No Zayn, not like that." I think I'm crying now , I feel the wetness on my cheeks but not the burn in my lungs and throat. I feel the wind against my skin, but not the goose bumps it would usually give me. I know the two boys are waiting for me to talk, but I can't feel my mouth moving as the words roll out, "She's right there Zayn. 6 feet under us, the flesh probably now gone from her once beautiful body. I always forget she's gone you know, because when I tripped and found her name written on the stone the first person I wanted to call and talk to about it was her. " I pause ,trying my best to catch my breath and the droplets of tears that roll down my face. ,

"I- I don't like being played and toyed with I've been toyed with my whole life and maybe right now I can't feel the rise and fall of my chest or my nails digging into my palms but I sure as hell can figure out when I am being played with. So if you two are playing some sort of sick game It has to stop now because I just found out where my mother's body has been buried when my father told me that she'd never be found."

"Jessie- I" Harry steps towards me but he is the last person I want to talk to.

"No Harry. Don't come any closer. Now I am sorry about your father I really am, and I if you're numb and trying to find your way out of your maze and shit like that but I chose Zayn, and you knew that. I still fell for your tricks and for that I apologize. At least you're not the only one that's numb now." I shrug my shoulders and walk over to Zayn wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Please, I don't want to talk about any of this I just want to go. Please get me away from here." He nods his head before pulling me into a tight hug. He's skinnier then Harry but his hugs are more comforting.

"Sure." He says as we turn around his hand stretching out for mine, and even with these circumstances I grab his anyways.

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get ready for some smut next chapter ;)

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trailer here:
http://youtu.be/yi-MGI2PIvQ