Shudder

12. The Way The Water Leans Part 3

Song for chapter: Damaged - Teen Wolf Soundtrack

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HARRYS POV

FUCK! I scream as I round the corner and head onto the sidewalk Jessie and I walked down just a few hours ago. I sprint past the corner store as I rub my hands through my hair again.

I had a chance! I had a fucking chance, why'd he come? Why! I scream as pedestrians stare at me. I haven't stopped running since they left hand and hand, leaving me in the cemetery.

I make it to my building in record time taking the stairs instead of the elevator two at a time. Slamming through the apartment door I grab my chest trying to tear my heart out to stop it from burning.

"Why did I text that! I am so stupid, I am an idiot!" I scream hitting myself and the walls in between each word. I know I wanted to feel something but I never thought It would hurt this bad... why does it hurt this bad?

" I love her! Not you! Not You!" I scream at the picture of Zayn and I before tearing it to shreds. The aching in my body has left my chest now finding a place amongst all of me. I feel it in my arms, legs, fingertips. All over.

"No, no, no!" I scratch at my arms and legs trying to get rid of the image of them being together. I flip chairs and smash pictures as I try to understand what she doesn't see in me.

How could she ever think I was playing a game with her, if anything she's playing with me. Kissing me then running off to Zayn, going on a walk with me then choosing Zayn. What does she not understand by I love you? I don't care if I've known her for 4 days she will be mine because I need her to make me feel again, in a way that's far from this one. I want to feel her fingers glide down my stomach, her lips pressed against every fucking inch of my body. Jesus fuck what have I done?

I throw another plate knowing that trashing my apartment won't do me any good.
I texted Zayn because I wanted him to be jealous but is that so wrong? Is it wrong to feel like you are no longer waiting for the sun the rise to make sure your father is still dead but to see her face?... because if it is then I don't want to be anywhere close to right.

JESSIES POV

Zayn and I both enter his apartment after a long drive of the awkward sound of my sobs.

"Do you- do you need anything?" He asks in a shaky breathe.

"Some form of comfort." I say walking over to him. I slip my arms around his waist nuzzling my head into his chest.

"Hey." He says as if he was calling me. I look up to meet his eyes as his hand slips to take a hold of my chin, "I may not be able to profess my love to you the way Harry has, but I want to some day. Is that good enough?" His brown eyes search mine, I know this is what I need. Someone who will love me with time and grace not all at once leaving nothing left to share.

"Yes." I say nodding my head and leaning in to press my lips to his. I can feel him smile into the kiss as his hands slide up my side before picking me up and carrying me into the bedroom.

My legs wrap around his waist pressing against his crotch as he lays me on his soft flush bed. His hands trace the lining of my shirt, tickling his way up my stomach before leaving to softly cup my breasts. Our mouths move in sync and I open my mouth slightly to accept his tongue as it laps over mine.

I pull off his t shirt and discard it off the bed as I drag my hands down his stomach stopping just inches from his waist line.

"Jessie, we don't have to do this if you don't want to." He hovers over me his hair tickling my cheeks. I lean in kissing his soft lips,