Shudder

2. Sunrise

Song for this chapter: Til the Morning - Bahamas
*****

Sometime in the late spring of April.

"What the hell?" I sit up eyes squinted trying to block out the small beams of upcoming sun peaking through the windows. Groans escape my mouth as I hold my head. i guess a blazing head ache is not the best way to start a Saturday morning. Or is it Sunday? The room is a light shade of pink and I push tangled legs and arms off of me as I slip out of the bewildered bed. Stepping over possibly dead bodies I open up the bedroom door only to be welcomed by a floor covered in beer bottles, plastic cups, and more possibly dead people.

"Great party huh?" I catch the site of a girl bent over with a garbage bag picking up bottles as she makes her way over to me careful not to step on people. She looks as if she'd been getting ready for a movie premiere, make up fully down, hair flattened crisp along her cheeks and a dress on. I don't know if I'm just hung over or if she's yelling but each word she says sends another jab of pain to my head. Her presence now bothering me.

"Mm hmm." I say nodding my head as I walk towards the door holding a thumbs up to the girl. "Thanks again." I have no clue who she is but she must be the host since she's cleaning. I pick up what looks like my shoes and open up the apartment door making sure not to slam it behind me. I can't remember anything from last night but it's not like It hasn't happened to me before. Wake up in a strange house, find my way back home, sleep until 10pm then party again. You can say it's unhealthy, I know it is but I can't bare the hurting that I always seem to have although every time I wake up in a new home I feel it, the pain I mean. It's always the worst part of the day.

I step out of the apartment building just as the sun begins to peak over the horizon. Shit! I'm going to miss it! I run across the street and head towards central park eyeing the sun as I run.

The suns position has barely moved as my bare feet pound the cement side walk making my way past cars that honk their horns at me. I run across the parks grass my breathe shortening as I run.

My head starts to spin in a whirl circles. Park bench, swing set, road, apartment building, park bench, swing set, road, apartment building, park bench, swing set, road, apartment building. I stop in my tracks falling on the fresh dewed central park grass. Strong bile falls from my mouth stinging as it drips out. I fall onto my side coughing as I go. Hearing the sound of cars driving by and foots steps. I look back up into the sky as I see the sun now fully in the sky before my eyes begin to close.

****

"Can you hear me?" a slow voice sparks my eyes to slowly open showing a man's face just inches from mine. "Ah, so you are awake." I sit up faster than expected making my head spin again the way it did in the park. Shit the park. How did I get here? I look around the small room. It's walls painted a clean white with nothing but this large flush bed, a book case in the corner, a black leather couch and one large window with black curtains blocking the harsh spring light from seeping in. . The park, the sunrise.

"What time is it?"

"Why? What's wrong? Are you alright? Do you have to be somewhere I can drive you?" He stutters as he speaks garden green eyes searching around the bare room. His long hair the colour of warm milk chocolate sways in front of his face just skipping over is plump red lips. He is absolutely gorgeous. In the most scariest way. No, no, no! Stop! She wouldn't approve! I shake my head jumping off the tall soft bed and grabbing my purse that hangs near the end.

"What time is it?" I run my hands through my matted hair and straighten out my now ruined red dress. I haven't even looked to see what I've looked like since last night and now I am afraid to do so.

The man runs his hands through his long hair copying my action. "2pm why?"

"2pm! 2pm!" I run to the window tripping over my feet as the sun from above blinds me. "No, no, no! I missed it! I missed it! I have never missed it before!"

"What - what are you talking about? I found you passed out in the park!" His long strides only lessen the space between us. Tears stream rapidly down my face as I turn away from the window.

"How could you do that! Now I've missed it! I've never missed it! Not once; not once!" I push him back creating more space between us. How could he do this to me?

"What are you talking about!" His voice has risen and I run towards the door, tears making my vision blurry.

"Let me out! Let me out!" I yell banging on the door to his small room. "I've missed it! I've missed it! She must be so mad! No, no, no!" I keep banging on the door and shaking the locked handle. Who the fuck locks a bedroom door?

"I'm sorry okay? I don't know what I did but I'm sorry." I feel his hands on the wrists his eyes begging me to stop banging on the door. I slid to the ground in a heap and wipe my still crying eyes, a black smudge probably replacing last night's make up.

"You don't get it! Let me go, please. Please." I lie on the floor feeling his hands wrap around my waist. He bring me into his lap letting my head rest on to his chest where my tears that haven't stopped ruin his white t-shirt.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry." He caresses my hair cooing me to stop as we rock back in fourth in the middle of the strangers room.

I'm so sorry mom. I repeat saying until I drift off into a dark sleep. Darker then usual.