Shudder

7. Labyrinth

Song for this Chapter: Silhouettes - Monsters of Men

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I sit on the bench in Central Park; the one I should of sat in before Harry found me.
I didn't go back to sleep after Harry left for the second? Third time? I lost count. It's 6 am and I didn't bother to leave a note this time.

What do you do when your world is upside down? When there is nothing left in you. I've been trying to figure that out myself. Most of my thinking is spent on this bench watching the sun peak over horizon and erupt sunshine into the sky. Sometimes I don't leave until noon dragging myself home or to another party.
Other days I wish for the pain. The terrifying thump of a heart crumbling with in me, because then at least I know I'm getting through it. Right now I feel nothing and the feeling is deafening.

Hours later the sun has fully taken over the sky pushing the clouds away making the atmosphere look a baby blue.

"Thought I'd find you here." He wears black skinny jeans with a black Calvin Klein t-shirt. A light brown fur coat runs down his figure hiding his tattoos.
"You vanished again." He sits beside me on the black bench.

"Didn't think you'd care Harry."

He turns to face me slamming his hand against the bench making jump from the loud noise. "You think I'm an asshole don't you?" He grabs my arm applying just enough pressure to make me wince.

"Harry that hurts!" I yell, a cool feeling of fear creeping into my chest. He looks down at his tight hand around my arm and quickly lets go out of realization placing his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Shit, shit I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I've heard that one before." I stand up from the bench understanding that my morning time is now over.

"Where are you going?" Harry's eyes look puffy and red in the last few seconds of silence we've shared and he leans into the bench as I walk past it. Although it is now 11, 5 hours on that bench never seems like enough.

"I have Zayn's date to get ready for." I yell from behind me, pushing as much distance between us as possible.

****

I called Zayn shortly after the park leaving out the kiss Harry and I shared last night. We decided on seeing a movie and going out to dinner afterwards.

Walking up to my apartment door I am hesitant to go, knowing that I'll only have to explain myself to Aimee. I know she just wants to help me but her constantly bringing up my problems are nothing but a nuisance to me. I'll figure my life out my own way.

"Hi Aims."

"Hi Jessie."

"I'm going on a date tonight. He's suppose to be picking me up in a couple hours. His names Zayn."

"If boy talk is your way of apologizing then I'll take it."

She sits on the bathtub edge as I stand doing my make up in the mirror after having a long shower. I tell her all about my night, deciding not to leave anything out; even Harry.

"Seems like you're living the dream. Two sexy men like you."

"It's not that easy." I say towel wrapped around my body as I apply another layer of mascara. "I like Zayn, he is funny, and sweet; much nicer then Harry. It's just weird because I'd usually choose Harry over Zayn any day but somethings telling me I shouldn't."

"Then don't." Maybe it was as simple as that. We walk out of the washroom and into my room. Picking out an outfit for a date is a nightmare but I settle on my favorite denim skinny jeans, a silk shirt, leather jacket and combat boots.

"He should be here in about thirty minutes." It's almost 3:30 now, my talk with Aimee and shower taking up a lot of time.

I'm about to start a new episode of Survivor when I here a knock on the door. "I guess he's early." I say to Aimee as I walk to the door.

I turn the handle opening the door to smile, but all that excitement vanishes as I see who is really at my door.

"Harry?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Alright." He steps in walking straight to my couch as If he's been here before.

"Umm, Aimee Harry - Harry Aimee."
She walks over to give him a hand shake (her years of doctor education clearly showing) but he just glances at her and looks back at me. I shrug my shoulders at her trying my best to give her an apologetic smile as she strides into the hallway and to her room.

"How the hell did you get me address."

"Do you ever feel lost Jessie?"

"Pardon?" He looks almost scared. His green eyes wide with a fierce look that runs a chill down my spine, his face a light shade of red, his hands looking cold, and his hair disheveled.

"Like your soaring through the sky; as if you're a bird but instead migrated to the south like they do each winter you just soar. Stuck in a world wind of clouds and atmosphere."

"Harry are you alright you look out of it?"

"J- just answer me." His hand clamps down around my knee squeezing just a little too tight.

"Yes Harry sure."

"Okay- okay so it's true then." His hands begin to tremble.

"Harry what's true?"

"All of it! It all makes sense! Don't you get it?" He stands up shifting his hands awkwardly through his hair. What is he saying?

"Harry I don't quite get-"

"See here's the thing Jess. Can I call you Jess?" I nod my head, "Great, so here's the thing. We are stuck. Pushed into a pattern that only we created. A labyrinth! Yes a labyrinth! Do you know what that is? It's a maze. I might sound a little too poetic and John Green-ish, have you read any of his books? I recommend them. But what I am trying to say is that he is right, we are all stuck without anyway out Jess! I just want to find my way out it's to claustrophobic in this maze of mine. " He stands there panting looking at me as If there is no way I could not understand.

"Harry."

"Just shut up!" He walks two long strides cornering me into the couch as he leans in again just inches away from me. "Don't go with Zayn tonight."

"Why Harry?" I whisper but he closes the gap between us instead causing a jolt of hunger to bloom in me. He leans in further causing the air around us to disintegrate leaving us in a panting mess. His tongue slides in to my mouth circling as do my hips against his. The growing bulge in his pants is just another fuel to my fire. But his soft plump lips escape mine just as fast as they came as he pushes back staring at me.

"Because I like Zayn." he wipes his lips of our kiss and walks out the door. And as seconds pass leaving me in udder confusion, only minutes later does another knock on our door strike telling me that Zayn has arrived.

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